Our Side of Paradise
by Ross1991
Summary: The Reboot version of the original Star Trek episode, This Side of Paradise with a K/S twist. Co-written with mtnhi32.


Disclaimer: This story is absolutely false. We do not own any of the characters. No Plagarism intended.

**Our Side of Paradise**

James Kirk bit back a groan as he headed to the briefing room. While over the last several years the Enterprise and her crew had been through more than their share of adventures, many of which could unquestionably be described as terrible, going on a rescue mission to a planet bombarded with deadly radiation was definitely at the bottom of his 'missions I love' list. Especially before 0730 hours when he had yet to have even a sip of coffee.

When he arrived he found that his First Officer was already there. Spock was preparing for the briefing, although he stopped what he was doing to turn and nod with a slight quirk of his brow, which Jim had learned to recognize as Spock's version of a small smile. Despite their less than stellar beginning over three and a half years ago, he and Spock had grown into a top notch command team, even winning multiple commendations together. In addition, they had become close friends especially in the last two years.

What started out as working together on planning or paperwork had quickly shifted to taking meals together and engaging in occasional games of chess or workout sessions. Now the two spent the majority of their off duty time together and had even taken shore leave together on three different occasions. They worked out or sparred together daily and the once occasional chess games were now almost a daily occurrence. Thinking back over the last few years Kirk had to admit there were still times that it shocked him that he and Spock had become so close. Nevertheless he found that they complimented each other; Spock's logical and reserved nature was the perfect foil for Jim's impulsivity and tendency to leap without looking. No, he couldn't have asked for a better First Officer or friend. The arrival of the rest of the senior crew brought his attention back to the present.

Within minutes they were seated and Kirk signaled for Spock to get started with the briefing. Spock walked back and forth as he talked with his hands clasped firmly behind his back, his ever present placid expression on his face.

"The planet Omicron Ceti III has been bombarded with Berthold Rays for a substantial amount of time," he began. "Continued exposure to these rays would cause extensive tissue damage resulting in death to the humans living on the Federation colony on the planet. At this time it is unknown if any of the colonists have survived as there has been no contact with the colony since the bombardment. We have been ordered to go to Omicron Ceti III and determine if there are survivors and if so, evacuate them to ensure their safety. We are also to gather as much data as possible while we are there. In addition, if we find there to be no survivors we are to retrieve the colonists' remains as well as any equipment."

McCoy was the first to speak. "If these Berthold Rays are so deadly, what kind of protection or gear will we need when we go down there?"

Spock looked at his PADD for several moments before answering. "The information we have available states that limited exposure will not be dangerous for humans," he replied. "Protective gear should not be necessary. We will run continuous scans so we will depart the planet well before any negative side effects can occur."

McCoy snorted. "I'd say death is a helluva lot more than a side effect."

Spock arched a brow. "I assure you doctor we will have departed long before we are in danger of dying."

Kirk leaned forward to interrupt before the two could really get going. He knew that in reality they liked each other and had a great deal of respect for each other, but the way Bones and Spock could snark at each other was amusing on a good day, trying on a not so good day. Today was a day he'd rather not have it at all, at least not until he had had some coffee and breakfast.

"Sulu, how long until we reach the planet?" Kirk asked.

Sulu input some numbers on his PADD. "Approximately two hours," he replied.

"1.872 hours," Spock said.

Kirk couldn't help but grin. He kind of liked that Spock was so precise in everything he did, although he wouldn't admit it to anyone else.

"Alright then," Kirk said. "Sulu stay on course and Uhura keep attempting to make contact with the colony. Spock you're with me. Bones, meet us in the transporter room at 1000 hours with your full medical kit. We don't know what we will find down there. Have a security party of two ready to depart as well as another party of five on standby."

There was a chorus of 'aye Captains' as the officers all left to go about their various duties.

Spock picked up the PADD and turned to the captain. "You wanted to see me, Captain?" he inquired.

Jim smiled. "Have you eaten yet, Spock?"

Spock shook his head. "No, I have not."

"Would you care to accompany me to the mess?" Kirk asked. "We can go over the rest of the reports while we eat."

"Very well," Spock replied. "That would be agreeable."

Kirk smiled again as the two men headed out of the room and towards the mess. _At least I can have some interesting company for breakfast,_ he thought.

When Kirk pictured his ideal breakfast, he would include a large stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and a side of mouth-watering bacon. What Kirk got instead was a bowl of bland, colorless oatmeal with a side of fruit. At least his coffee was still how he liked it: milk with two sugars. It looked like good ol' Bones had finally followed through with his up-till-now innocent threats and restricted his diet. It was obvious that Kirk needed to exchange some words with Dr. McCoy. Kirk spared a withering glance at the oatmeal before he dived right in. No matter how much Kirk found his breakfast unappealing, he still needed to keep up his strength for this mission. Spock, who was accustomed to all of Kirk's odd idiosyncrasies, chose to ignore his behavior.

As Spock and Kirk went over the mission reports in greater detail, Kirk couldn't help his mind wandering as it often did whenever he was in Spock's proximity. Kirk couldn't help but notice Spock's hands as they flew across the PADD with purpose and grace. Spock's fingers were long and thin, the fingers of a musician. Although they were graceful, his hands were also masculine with dark, straight hair that sparsely covered the pale skin and a hidden but immense strength. Kirk could testify to their strength, still remembering the feel of those fingers wrapped around his throat. Of course, Spock's hands weren't all that Kirk had noticed. The half-Vulcan as a whole was a sight for sore eyes with his lean, tall physique and his deep, brown eyes that a person could fall into if that person wasn't careful. Spock's alienness only added to his beauty and his up-swept eyebrows and pointed ears made him excitingly unique and exotic. Kirk had to admit he had always had an affinity for aliens.

Kirk's attraction to Spock had come as a surprise to him and his crush had snuck up on him after years of the Vulcan's companionship and friendship. Up until the moment that Spock had wormed his way under Kirk's skin and made a home there, Kirk had been a typical lady's man who had no problem filling his bed with a warm body. Back then he didn't even consider having sex with a man, even though he could admit without shame that some men caught his wandering eye.

Although Kirk could easily ensure he had a companion for the night, he tended to avoid serious relationships. However, with Spock, Kirk wished for more than just a meaningless one-night-stand. He wished for a deep, meaningful relationship that would be the foundation of his life until the end. Of course wanting and having were two completely different things. Kirk could want Spock to his heart's desire but having him was another matter. They had never talked about past relationships or preferences and because of that Kirk had no idea how likely a relationship between them could be.

Kirk's thoughts were interrupted when Spock asked him a question.

"What was that?" he asked sheepishly.

"I asked if you had finished your breakfast, Jim. It would be best to make our way to the transporter room," Spock said.

Kirk looked down to find he had finished his oatmeal and most of the fruit but his forgotten cup of coffee was still half full. He quickly downed it and grabbed his tray to discard the dishes.

"Of course, let's go," he said as he clapped Spock's shoulder and exited the mess. Kirk didn't need to be facing Spock to know that one of his eye brows was arching and he couldn't help but grin at Spock's predictability.

The two men took the turbo-lift in comfortable silence and walked through the corridor side-by-side to the transporter room. By the time they arrived Dr. McCoy was already there with his medical bag and tricorder and ever-present scowl on his face. Every crew member knew how much McCoy hated the transporter no matter how safe it usually was. That didn't stop him from ranting about how it wasn't natural for a person's molecules to be scrambled about through space. If he had his way, he would be transported by shuttle. Unfortunately, shuttles were just so damned slow in comparison to the almost immediate travel time of the transporter.

Kirk walked up to Bones with a teasing smile and said, "Ready, Bones?"

Bones grumbled, "Ready as I'll ever be."

"That's what I like to hear." Kirk chuckled softly.

Kirk could see the rest of the landing party was present as well. He walked onto a transporter pad and waited for the rest of the party to join him. When everybody was ready, Kirk nodded to the lieutenant manning the controls and said, "Energize."

The away party landed in a very agrarian, almost Earth-like setting with trees and a wide variety of plants. The sky was sunny without any clouds to mar the perfect weather. Colonists were seen walking about and working the land. That answered the question of whether the colonists had survived or perished. It seemed like a perfect place for a human colony to flourish if it wasn't for the existence of the Berthold Rays.

Kirk glanced at Spock and saw that he was looking around curiously, his tricorder already out and scanning. Bones also had his tricorder out and was looking at the colonists with a frown on his face.

"These people don't look sick at all from where I'm standing," he remarked.

Before Kirk could answer he saw a man in green coveralls walking towards them. Placing a diplomatic smile on his face, Kirk walked forward to meet him.

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise," he said, extending his hand.

The other man smiled and shook Kirk's hand with a firm handshake. "I'm Elias Sandoval," he said. "I'm the leader of the colony. How can I be of assistance to you, Captain?"

By this time, Spock and McCoy had come up to them so Kirk introduced the two officers to the colony leader. "Mr. Sandoval," Kirk began. "We were sent by the Federation after they received reports that this planet had been bombarded with Berthold Rays and that there had been no communication with the colony here for several months."

Sandoval shook his head. "Ah, yes," he replied. "We have been having some problems with our communications equipment lately." Something about the way the man seemed to avoid the real question instantly put Kirk on alert. Noticing that Spock had moved several feet away and was looking at him intently, Kirk stepped over to stand by his first officer.

"Report, Mr. Spock," he said quietly. "What do you make of this?"

Spock looked down at his tricorder briefly before answering. "It is fascinating, captain," he replied before looking down at the tricorder again, his brows lowered in a frown.

Kirk resisted the urge to sigh. "What's so fascinating?" he asked calmly. "Why aren't these people dead?"

Spook shook his head. "Unknown," he replied.

"Speculation?"

"I have none, Captain," Spock replied. "According to these readings these people should be at the very least severely ill and in all likelihood, dead. My scans show the continued presence of Berthold Rays. It is an indisputable fact that these rays are deadly. There is no miracle cure, antidotes, or other treatment. If a human is exposed to these rays they will die"

Kirk looked at Spock with a slight frown. "Are we in any danger from these rays?" he asked.

Spock shook his head. "Negative," he responded. "The levels are well within acceptable levels for humans provided we do not remain here over long."

"What about you?" he couldn't help but ask.

Spock looked at him quizzically for a moment before answering. "Vulcans can withstand significant amounts before it would cause damage," he replied.

Kirk resisted another urge to sigh. Spock hadn't exactly answered his question but before he could say anything further, Sandoval had walked up to them.

"Gentlemen," he said, "If you will accompany me perhaps I can help to answer some of your questions."

Kirk nodded before following the other man and gesturing to the security detail to remain outside and alert. Spock and McCoy followed him as they made their way across the compound into a small house.

As they entered the building, Sandoval explained that as the planet was a prime agricultural site, they were not willing to share the fate that so many other colonies had. Before Kirk could ask any questions, a young blond woman came into the room. Kirk noticed right away that she was very beautiful.

"Elias," she said softly before her eyes went to Spock who was standing across the room. Immediately her face softened and she smiled. When Kirk looked at Spock he saw that while his face was as placid and blank as ever his eyes had narrowed slightly and Jim could swear he saw a spark of recognition there before they were quickly blanked as well.

Sandoval gestured the woman into the room. "Leila, come here," he said. "This is Leila Kalomi, our botanist. This is Captain Kirk, Dr McCoy, and his first officer Mr. Spock."

The lady stepped up to them all but her eyes remained firmly on Spock. "Oh, Mr. Spock and I have met before," she said. "It's been a long time."

Kirk found himself wanting to wipe the simpering smile off her face and he quickly rid his face of the irritation he must have been showing. Glancing again at Spock he noticed that while his face was still carefully blank Spock's shoulders were stiff and he was clenching his hands behind his back and looked distinctly ill at ease, at least to Kirk.

Wanting to get the focus back on the colonists health, Kirk turned towards Sandoval. "I'm sure you understand our situation, Mr. Sandoval," he said, his tone crisp and professional despite his growing irritation with the botanist who continued to stare and smile at Spock. "We have been ordered to evacuate any survivors for their own safety."

Sandoval shook his head. "That will not be necessary," he said. "We have no intention of leaving and as you can see, we are all in perfect health."

At this McCoy stepped forward. "Yeah, about that," he began. "How is it you all survived the bombardment of rays?

Sandoval smiled. "As I have just stated you can see we are in perfect health and are in no danger here."

McCoy frowned. "Well, I'd like to be the judge of that if you don't mind," he said gruffly.

Kirk smiled at Sandoval although the man's continued avoidance of their questions was beginning to get on his nerves. "Surely, you wouldn't mind my CMO checking you all out, since we are already here," Kirk said.

"Of course, I will have all the colonists report to you for a full physical," he replied. "Perhaps once you see we are fine you will no longer feel the need for us to evacuate."

Kirk shrugged noncommittally. "Would you mind if some of my team were to run some scans outside and in the surrounding area?"

Sandoval smiled brightly. "Oh, of course," he replied. "Your teams are welcome to go where they wish. We have nothing to hide and are most anxious for you to explore our beautiful world."

Kirk found himself wondering what exactly was behind the leader's words but before he could ponder it further Spock had come up to him. Glancing across the room he could see that Ms. Kalomi's eyes were still following the Vulcan, her expression one of adoration. Looking back at Spock, Kirk realized the other man still seemed ill at ease.

"Captain," he said "if you do not mind I wish to begin my scans immediately. There are some fascinating readings that I would like to look into." Catching the slightly pleading look in the other man's eyes Kirk was quick to dismiss him.

"Very well, Mr. Spock," he replied. "Check in in two hours."

"Understood." Spock made his exit quicker than Kirk had ever seen him move.

Kirk's irritation went up several notches when the botanist made to follow, but he was saved from having to comment when Sandoval put out his hand to stop her.

"Leila," he said. "Would you be willing to assist Dr. McCoy while I show the captain around?"

A look of disappointment crossed her face but she quickly agreed. "Of course, Elias," she said. "I would be delighted to." Turning to the doctor, "Shall I show you where you may do your examinations?"

McCoy smiled at the young woman. "Of course, Ms. Kalomi. Lead the way."

Kirk watched as the two left the room then gestured to Sandoval. "I would love a chance to look around your colony," he said diplomatically. "Shall we?"

Sandoval nodded and the two of them headed out the door.

While Mr. Sandoval gave Kirk the tour, he couldn't help but notice there were no birds and no farm animals whatsoever. No cattle, no chickens, no goats, and no pigs. However, there was an abundance and variety of plant life. _Leila Kalomi must be a very busy botanist with all this plant life,_ Kirk mused. Several plants were foreign to him and he assumed that many plants were native only to the area.

Sandoval asked, "So Captain, what do you think of our planet?"

Kirk was pulled from his musings. "I gotta say it looks almost exactly like Earth," he commented.

"It does, doesn't it? On our farm we grow Earth crops and there are trees here that are very similar to those on Earth. It's a paradise," Sandoval said.

The more time he spent with Sandoval, the more Kirk thought there was something off about him. Sandoval had had a smile on his face ever since the _Enterprise's _landing party had arrived. He also seemed to experience a limited range of emotions that were primarily on the positive side. Sandoval completely ignored the fact that the planet was being bombarded by very harmful Berthold Rays, rays that would damage organic tissues and kill human beings.

"Look, Mr. Sandoval, you have to understand that you and your people need to evacuate from this planet. It is very likely you could die very shortly and we need to get you on board the _Enterprise _immediately," Kirk argued, patience quickly running out.

"No, Captain Kirk, I assure you everyone is perfectly healthy," he said. "There is no need for the colony to relocate. Now, I believe your medical officer wishes to see me. I hope you will believe me once he has checked me over. You are welcome to look around further, if you'd like."

With that, Sandoval left Kirk and walked toward the medical station.

Spock could not stop himself from expelling a sigh of relief as he escaped the house and Ms. Kalomi's persistent stare. When it became obvious that she was not going to follow him, at least at this time, he allowed himself to relax. While he bore the woman no ill will, neither had he had any desire to ever see or interact with her again. He found her presence here mildly irritating as it appeared that she still harbored romantic feelings towards him. As he moved out into the compound he found himself remembering when they had met.

Six years ago, while on his first solo research project after his graduation from the Academy, he had admired her intelligence and her dedication to the project but his relationship with her and his interactions with her had been strictly professional. However, several weeks into the project she began requesting that he meet her for coffee or to share lunch and she would often bring him things that she had said she thought he would find fascinating. Each time he would politely refuse her invitation and as the small gifts became more personal, he began to realize that her feelings toward him had gone beyond the professional.

She had continued to pursue him even after he had informed her, quite bluntly, that he was betrothed. It had become most disturbing and he found himself avoiding her as much as he could even going to the point of scheduling himself away when he knew she would be in the lab. Never the less she always seemed to be able to find him even though he continued to refuse her invitations and her gifts as well.

The last week of the project was coming to an end and he was working alone in one of the labs late one night when she found him once again. He had looked at her in shock when she had come in; this time was different from all the other times before. They were very much alone and she was dressed in a dress of some softly flowing fabric instead of her usual lab coat. Her hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders. Spock could admit that he found her aesthetically pleasing yet he felt no desire or interest in her beyond what was necessary for the project.

She moved towards him and was standing well within his personal space however he had nowhere to go as he was already against the desk. Before he could gently remove her from his space she had clutched the front of his shirt and pulled his head down to hers. For a brief moment he kissed her back; he had never kissed a human female before and found himself curious. However, it was not long before he was pushing her gently away. While the kiss had not been distasteful, it had stirred nothing within him.

"Ms. Kalomi, I must apologize," he began. She attempted to kiss him again and he had to put up his hand to push her away, this time not as gently. Her eyes were suspiciously shiny as he moved around her and well out of her reach.

"My name is Leila," she insisted "and I don't want your apologies. I love you, Mr. Spock. I want to be with you."

Spock sighed. "Leila," he said firmly "I have already informed you that I am betrothed to be married. It is not appropriate or logical that you should continue to harbor such feelings towards me."

This time her tears spilled over to fall down her cheeks. "I don't care about your logic, Mr. Spock," she cried. "And I don't care that you are betrothed. If she were at all important to you she would be here with you. I am here and I can love you more than anyone else ever could."

"Leila," he began before she pushed her way into his personal space again forcing him to hold her at arm's length.

"I could make you happy Mr. Spock," she insisted. "You could learn to love me, I know you could." This time there was nothing gentle about the way he pushed her away from him.

"No," he said his voice and face impassive. "I could not. I am a Vulcan and we do not feel love as humans do. I must insist that you desist with your pursuit of me. I am not now nor will I ever be interested in you in a romantic capacity. If you are unable to do so or to perform your duties for the rest of this project I will request that you be assigned elsewhere."

She shook her head. "No, that will not be necessary," she said quietly and he could see that she was still crying. "I'm sorry," she said before turning and leaving the lab quickly. Spock had not seen her again and had heard that she left the planet immediately after the project was completed two days later. He had thought of her a time or two in passing but he had never dwelled on what had happened.

Bringing himself back to the present he glanced at the tricorder in his hands before heading towards an area where what appeared to be crops were growing. Seeing Leila today had definitely been a surprise and Spock found himself wondering what had been behind the look the captain had been giving her. If Spock had been one for wishful thinking he would have thought it was jealousy he had seen in his friend's eyes. Sighing at how illogical the thought was, Spock allowed his mind to remain on his captain and friend while he continued to scan the surrounding vegetation.

No one had been more surprised than Spock when he and Kirk had become friends, except for perhaps doctor McCoy. After their initial adversarial relationship, Spock would not have thought that he would have ever considered even the possibility that he could become so close with someone he considered to be illogical, impulsive, and childish. It had not taken long before he had begun to amend his opinion.

While working together, he found that while the captain was indeed illogical and impulsive, he was also a brilliant strategist and seemed to have a natural affinity for leadership. As the weeks became months, he realized that the crew idolized the captain and that even though they still argued a great deal, Spock had come to respect the man as well. He found himself looking forward to working with the captain and enjoying the meals they took together.

After he and Nyota had ended their romantic relationship he found himself with a great deal of time on his hands after shift and had been only too pleased to accept the captain's invitations to work out or spar. When he discovered that the captain also enjoyed chess they added regular games to their evenings or other off duty times. He found that Kirk had an intelligent mind and a quick wit as well as a dry sense of humor that Spock found himself responding to, enjoying their verbal sparring as much as he did with McCoy, although he would never admit such a thing to the gruff doctor.

Spock had always known that the captain was an aesthetically pleasing man but it was a more abstract knowledge. However, Spock could remember exactly the events of the day that led him to realize that he was attracted to the other man.

He had seen the captain shirtless and with even less on many occasions, so Spock could not say it was his friend's state of undress that was the reason behind his sudden or perhaps not so sudden attraction. They had returned from an away mission that had gone badly and the captain had been attacked by some of the natives. They had quickly gotten beamed back aboard the Enterprise but not before the much larger natives knocked the captain to the ground, even though he fought back furiously. Spock had been several dozen feet away when the incident occurred and had been unable to stop the attack or to use his phaser which he feared would affect the captain as well. However, between the security personnel and a Vulcan nerve pinch they freed the captain and called for immediate beam out.

The captain insisted he was fine and had even convinced McCoy that he was not seriously injured. However, when Spock walked into the Captain's quarters unannounced (they had long since foregone any formality between them when they were off duty) less than an hour later he had found Kirk in nothing but a towel and attempting to reach his back with a dermal regenerator. Despite his desire to reprimand the man for his foolishness in not seeking medical attention, Spock took the device from his hand and without a word began running it over the cuts and bruises that marred the golden skin of Kirk's back.

When he placed his hand on the much cooler skin of the human's he felt a jolt of sensation and jerked his hand back quickly. Although he and Kirk had touched numerous times it had always been through clothing, or in the line of duty. This was the first time he had ever touched the other man's bare skin in such a way. Without thinking, he put his hand on Kirk's shoulder and again felt that tingle of awareness. Quickly finishing with the regenerator, he handed it back to Kirk and stepped back from him. Seeing that Kirk was looking at him strangely, Spock immediately gave the report that had been his original reason for being in the captain's quarters.

That night Spock was unable to reach his usual level of meditation. The feeling of Kirk's skin under his hand came back to him again and again. He had found himself wondering what it would feel like to caress the surprisingly soft golden skin or to taste it with his lips and tongue. Shaken that he was having such thoughts about his friend, his very male friend, Spock pushed the thoughts from his mind although it seemed to take Herculean effort.

Over the next few days, he had found himself looking at Jim appraisingly and he was illogically looking forward to their times alone together much more than was appropriate as a friend. Even the knowledge that Jim was undeniably a 'ladies man,' whose reputation for promiscuity while at the Academy was well known, did little to cool Spock's ever growing desire. He knew the captain never fraternized with those under his command, but Spock was certain that during shore leave Kirk sought female companionship. The fact that Spock had never had even a passing attraction to another male was yet another piece of the puzzle.

It was not long before the sexual fantasies began to morph into a deep longing for Jim to be his bondmate and to have their minds linked as intimately as he longed for their bodies to be. Ever since the destruction of Vulcan, Spock had felt incredibly alone. He attributed this loneliness at least in part to his broken bond with T'Pring who had not survived. Even his relationship with Nyota had not filled the emptiness. However, recently his relationship with Jim had begun to fill that void within him and he was only mildly surprised to realize that he had fallen in love with his friend. Spock was unaccustomed to the feelings and longings that he felt for his captain (and his best friend). However, he knew, inexplicably, that it was indeed love. For the past 1.2 years Spock had kept that knowledge to himself, not willing to lose a friendship that was so cherished and unable to express his longing.

Dr. McCoy, with the help of Leila Kalomi, set up a rudimentary medical station in the middle of the colony. They arranged several chairs and tables to make it easier to work on with the large number of colonists. McCoy rounded up many colonists as he could and told others to spread the word that they were to undergo medical testing as soon as possible. He started to scan the colonists quickly and efficiently in order to finish as quickly as possible. At first, he thought there was something wrong with his tricorder. Test after test his tricorder readouts showed that the colonists were in perfect health. McCoy switched tricorders every so often but they showed the same results. Every tricorder couldn't be broken, could they? McCoy was starting to get very suspicious by the time most of the colonists had been checked.

When Sandoval walked in McCoy scanned him and found that he too was in perfect health. It just didn't make any sense. It was impossible for every person to be perfectly healthy, especially on a planet being bombarded with Berthold Rays. It struck McCoy that he should study the past medical records of the colonists and compare them with the current medical readouts. He brought up Sandoval's records and found that his appendix had been removed at an early age but when McCoy compared that to the current readings, they showed that Sandoval still had an appendix and even a scar from a surgery was absent. This did not make sense at all. There was no known purpose for an appendix, so there was no need for a person to receive one or grow one.

Still puzzled, McCoy dismissed Ms. Kalomi and thanked her for her help. He was so busy trying to understand what was going on that he did not notice how quickly she left.

A noise behind him brought Spock back to the present and turning he sighed quietly as he saw Leila approaching him. Returning his focus to the tricorder Spock fought to keep his expression neutral even as he pushed down a flash of irritation. If he had not been so deep in thought he would have been able to continue avoiding her.

"I was hoping I would find you here," she said coming up to where he knelt on the ground.

Choosing to ignore her comment he remained kneeling amongst the vegetation. "My scans reveal no animal life, not even insects," he said. "Yet there is vegetation and the colonists survived exposure to Berthold rays."

Leila smiled broadly. "That can be explained," she said.

Spock rose to his feet. "Then please do so," he said bluntly.

Leila's smile didn't fade. "Later."

Spock only just managed to stop the eye roll, another habit he had picked up from Jim, at her answer however he could not keep the slight hint of irritation from his tone. "I have never understood the female tendency to avoid answering a direct question," he said.

Leila stepped closer to him. "And I have never understood you," she said quietly, "until now." Laying her hand upon his chest she continued. "There was always a place in here that you never allowed anyone to come, only the face you let others see, and only one side of you that you would allow anyone to know."

Removing her hand from his chest, Spock walked several feet away before turning back towards her, a slight pursing of his lips the only expression on his otherwise blank face "I wish to know how your people survived the rays," he said.

"I missed you," she said softly.

Spock chose to ignore that comment as well. "Logically you should all be dead," he said brusquely.

Leila smiled at him again. "If I tell you how we survived will you at least try to understand how we feel about our lives here and each other?" she asked.

Spock pushed down another flash of irritation. "I am a Vulcan and as such emotions are foreign to me. I am a scientist and I deal in facts," he said.

Leila shook her head. "Someone else might believe that, maybe your captain or shipmates, but not me," she said quietly but firmly. When Spock remained silent she continued. "Come with me and I will show you."

Spock chose to ignore her outstretched hand and clasped his hands firmly behind his back before following her. After several minutes he felt his annoyance increasing.

"How much further?" he asked.

"It's not much further," she replied.

Spock stopped walking. "You have yet to explain the nature of this 'thing,'" he said.

Leila stopped as well. "Its basic properties are not important," she said. "What is important is that it gives life, peace, and love."

Spook shook his head. "As a scientist you should know that such a thing is not possible," he said.

Leila took his arm and pulled him along. "Come," she said leading him forward several feet to stand by a large flowering plant. "I was one of the first to find the spores," she said.

Spock glanced down at the plant. "Spores?" he asked but before he could continue the plant had turned towards him and emitted a cloud of pollen like substance that struck him directly in the face. For a moment he waved his hand in front of his face in a desperate attempt to get the substance off of him. Suddenly he was seized by a searing pain in his mind and he dropped the tricorder as he fell to his knees clutching his head in agony.

"No," he moaned as the pain threatened to overwhelm him.

"It shouldn't hurt," she said quickly but Spock remained on his knees now clenching his fist against his chest

"No, please don't," he groaned as the pain continued to consume him, his mind on fire and bombarded with overwhelming _feeling._

"It shouldn't be like this," Leila said looking anxiously at Spock who was now writhing on the ground. "It wasn't like that with us. It didn't hurt us," she said.

"I am not like you," Spock ground out "I am not one of _you_." However, as suddenly as the pain had started it was gone. For a moment he felt disoriented but could not quite determine exactly what was wrong.

Leila knelt down beside him and reached out to gently stroke his cheek. "Now you belong to all of us as we all belong to you," she said softly. "Now there is no more need to hide your inner face anymore because we understand."

Turning to face her, Spock reached up and took her hand in his before feeling his face break out in a smile. Reaching to gently cup her face he still felt that something was _off_ yet he felt compelled to touch her. "I could love you," he said softly and watched as she smiled beautifully at him. Pulling her into a gentle embrace he kissed her softly, the feeling of _wrong_ fading into the background, as they continued to touch.

McCoy caught a glance of the Captain walking toward the medical area so he went out to meet him to tell him of his findings.

"Dr. McCoy, what can you report?" Kirk asked, frustrated with his lack of progress.

"Jim, this isn't making any sense at all! Each and every one of the colonists is in tip top shape. None of them have any scars or diseases. Sandoval had his appendix removed several years ago, but there it is, good as new. These people shouldn't even be alive." Dr. McCoy's southern drawl made its presence known whenever he got emotional.

Kirk sighed in frustration. "I guess I can't be surprised," he said. "Every time I try to convince Sandoval the colonists need to leave, he says there is no need because everybody is perfectly healthy. I wish we knew what the hell is going on. Maybe Spock has some idea." With that, Kirk took out his communicator and flipped it open.

"Kirk to Spock." No reply. Kirk had enough weirdness for one day and Spock not answering right away was definitely weird. He tried again, "Come in, Spock."

"Hello, Captain," Spock replied, and if Kirk didn't know any better he'd say Spock was laughing.

"Where are you?" Kirk asked.

"None of your business," Spock giggled.

Spock was actually _giggling_ and he was being insubordinate. Kirk needed to get to the bottom of this. He was certain everything was connected somehow.

When he heard female laughter he knew it was most likely Leila Kalomi that was with Spock. A flare of jealousy shot through Kirk. Spock and Leila obviously had history and Kirk wouldn't be surprised if Leila had feelings for Spock, he had seen the way she looked at him.

Spock had never felt as carefree as he felt as he and Leila roamed around the outskirts of the compound. He had always been fascinated by plants and science in general, now he was finding what he believed to be joy in the simple beauty of a flower or a cloud. Occasionally he would have a flash of the feeling of _wrong _that he had had earlier, but he would push it down, too intoxicated by how overwhelmingly _good_ he felt.

He felt happiness in Leila's arms that he had never felt with Nyota, even in their most intimate moments. He found himself unwilling to move away from her or to stop kissing her or stroking her soft skin.

He reached again for his communicator that Leila had pulled playfully from his hands and tossed aside. _I must finish my conversation with Jim,_ he thought happily although he was not quite certain why it made him feel so.

"Yes, Captain," he said laughing softly, unable to contain his joy at hearing his friend's voice.

The captain did not sound pleased. "Where are you?"

Spock laughed again, this time more of a giggle. _He really must get his captain to lighten up,_ he thought.

This time the captain was most definitely not pleased. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

Spock felt somewhat dismayed and he looked at Leila in confusion. "The captain is mad at me," he said dejectedly.

Once again, Leila took the communicator from his hand and dropped it to the ground before pulling him down for another kiss. Spock pulled her back into his arms causing her to laugh softly which set off that feeling of _wrong _in him once more. Spock pulled away from her quickly. _Jim, _he thought moving to pick up the communicator.

Leila tugged insistently on his arm. "No, Mr. Spock," she said, looking at him adoringly. "Don't let his anger spoil our happiness."

Spock looked from her to the communicator then back again. At her pleading expression he pushed the thought of _Jim _out of his mind and allowed her to lead him away, the communicator forgotten on the ground.

Spock's laughter echoed through the meadow as he found himself immersed in the exhilarating joy of climbing a tree, something he had never experienced before. Below him Leila stood watching him, her own laughter sounding like music to his ears. Letting go of the thick branch he was currently hanging off of he let himself swing by his knees for several seconds, the feeling heady and intense, before reaching for the branch once again. Leila's hand caressed his arm and he dropped down to the ground to kiss her quickly before pulling himself back into the tree again. _This is unbelievably entertaining, _he thought as he let himself go again.

Hearing a harsh intake of breath behind him he turned somewhat awkwardly from where he was hanging to see his captain standing behind him, his mouth hanging open in shock. Spock felt himself smiling broadly yet again.

"Jim!" he exclaimed as he dropped to the ground to stand in front of his friend. Noticing the doctor standing next to the captain Spock turned his smile on him. "Hello, Bones!" he said.

The doctor did not look amused. "What the devil is going on here?" he asked before turning to look at the captain in confusion.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Spock?" he demanded.

The captain also did not appear to be happy and Spock felt the smile slipping from his face. _Jim,_ he thought again, taking a step towards him before he felt Leila pulling him back. He smiled down at her before turning his smile back to the captain who now looked absolutely furious.

"There is nothing wrong Captain," he replied.

The doctor snorted loudly. "The hell there isn't!" he said. "The day you start smiling and climbing trees is the day I start taking skiing lessons in hell!"

Spock laughed loudly at the doctor's comment causing the others to look at him incredulously again.

The captain took a step towards him causing Spock's heart to pound in his side at the unexpected excitement he felt. However before he could move closer to the other man Leila had pulled him back and come to stand between them. Spock looked at her curiously then at the captain whose face had flushed a bright red.

"Mr. Spock has found happiness, love, and belonging. He is now one of us," she said turning to smile at him lovingly again. He smiled at her in return before looking back at his captain.

"Jim," he said "let me show you what I have learned," he implored, the feeling of _wrong_ coming once again to his mind. Spock found himself nearly overwhelmed with the desire to take his friend into his embrace. "Please," he said "Let me show you."

Perhaps once Jim came to know the happiness that the spores would bring, he would be Spock's. The thought urged him forward to take the captains arm. "Come," he said pulling the reluctant man behind him.

McCoy followed behind them. "This outta be good," he drawled.

Leading them to another one of the flowers he pointed at it.

The doctor leaned closer to look. The captain had moved several feet away and was looking at him suspiciously.

The flower abruptly erupted in a cloud of spores that hit the doctor in the face but missed the captain completely. Within moments the doctor was smiling broadly.

Spock smiled. "Ah, the doctor understands now, don't you doctor?" he said, clapping him on the shoulder.

The doctor smiled broadly. "I sure do," he said, his drawl even more pronounced. "Spock, my friend, have I ever made you one of my famous mint juleps" he asked?"

Leila came to stand by Spock linking her arm in his.

The doctor turned his smile on her. "I'd be pleased as all get out if you would join us, young lady," he said.

"I'd be delighted," she said but Spock was looking at the captain who was now standing with his hands clenched at his sides.

"You're all fucking crazy!" he exclaimed before walking away.

Jim knew that somethingvery wrong was happening on this planet. First, the colonists that resided on the radiated planet were perfectly healthy when they should be dead. Second, Spock was obviously not himself as he was smiling, laughing, and hanging off of trees when he should be finding the answer to the colonist's survival. Third, Leila Kalomi was touching Spock as if they were lovers.

Jim had never thought of himself as a jealous man, even if he was in a casual relationship. If his sexual partners found someone else, fine, Jim couldn't care less. However, watching Leila and Spock touching each other made Jim's blood boil with jealousy and rage. This wasn't like him at all. It's not like Spock and he were together. They were just good friends and colleagues. If only Jim could turn off his feelings for Spock.

Perhaps he should beam back to the _Enterprise _and warn everyone of the spores the plants produced and get off this planet.

Spock instinctively moved to follow him but felt Leila pulling him back. Shaking her off he started to follow Jim but she was suddenly in front of him.

"Don't go Mr. Spock," she implored wrapping her arms around his neck. "He is not one of us, not like you are."

Spock attempted to shake her off again but she clung to him like a vine "I must go to him," he said watching as the other man moved further away from him. "Please release me," he told her firmly.

Leila shook her head. "No! I will never let you go," she cried. "I cannot let you go again, Mr. Spock. I love you. You love me. Please come back with me," she begged.

Spock looked at her sadly. "I am sorry but I cannot love you," he said.

Leila clung to him even more tightly. "Yes you can," she said. "You do love me, I know you do."

Spock pulled her arms harshly from around his neck and stepped back from her pushing her firmly away, his hand keeping her away. "No! I cannot love you," he said again. "I already love…" he said slowly as he was nearly overwhelmed with overpowering love and affection for his friend. _This is what is right,_ he thought. "I already love," he said again, stepping even further away from Leila. "I must go to him."

Spock was vaguely aware of Leila sobbing and the doctor taking her into his arms and muttering, "There, there now darling, it will be alright." as he turned and took off at a near run after Kirk

Spock found the captain ten minutes later standing near the fence that enclosed the compound. He turned as Spock came up to him. Spock extended his hand desperate to touch the other man. Spock felt as though his heart would break when the captain looked at him warily and actually backed away from him and Spock let his hand drop back to his side.

"Jim," he said softly, letting all the longing he felt show in his eyes when he looked at the other man. He smiled as he felt a wave of love for Jim flow through him. He reached out to his friend again but he adeptly avoided Spock's touch.

"Spock, what is wrong with you?" he asked, still eyeing him suspiciously.

Spock smiled and took another step towards him. "Jim, there is nothing wrong," he insisted. "If you will just let me show you," he said pleadingly.

Jim stepped back yet again. "Show me?" he asked warily.

Spock smiled at him again this time stepping forward until the other man was trapped against the fence. "Please, Jim," he implored. "If you will just let me show you, the spores will make you one of us and you will understand."

"Spores?" he asked, as his breathing hitched.

Spock moved closer to Jim, so close that they were touching and he felt Jim's breath catch in his throat.

"The spores will show you love," he said as he reached out to gently stroke the face of the man he loved before pulling him closer. As their lips met he felt a burst of pure, raw pleasure. When Jim gasped, Spock deepened the kiss, pulling the other man flush against him.

For several long moments they clung to each other as Spock explored the cooler human mouth with his tongue. _This was right_ he thought_ this was where he longed to be._ Jim was in his arms and was kissing him back just as passionately and Spock felt himself falling deeper into the pleasure. Suddenly Spock was pushed away from the other man.

When Spock moved towards him, Jim held out his hand to stop him. "No!" he exclaimed. "It's the spores that are doing this. They're some kind of whacked out aphrodisiac."

Spock shook his head. "No, Jim, let me show you," he begged, taking the other man into his embrace again.

For a moment Kirk seemed to hesitate and leaned into the embrace, before he pushed Spock away again. "No! Spock stop," he said.

Spock looked at him in bewilderment. Jim had kissed him back and he had felt the electricity between them. "Jim, do you not want this?" he asked.

Jim closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes," he breathed softly, but Spock heard him clearly. However, when he attempted to move towards him, Jim pushed him back again. "But not like this," he said. "You wouldn't want it at all if you weren't high on space spores. They are making you act irrationally and making you think you want something you don't. They made you think you wanted Leila. I saw you kissing her, and now they are making you think you want me."

Spock smiled and shook his head. "Jim," he said urgently. "I do not want Leila. I want you and the spores do nothing of the sort. They give life and love. They are the reason that the colonists are alive and thriving. If you would only let me show you!" Some of the desperation he was feeling must have been evident in his voice because Jim backed away again.

"No," he said. "You would never forgive me if I took advantage of you like this. These spores are affecting you Spock, this isn't you talking and this isn't what you want." Kirk turned and ran from Spock as if his life depended on it.

Spock stared after him for a moment too shocked at the other man's sudden escape to respond. He knew that the other man was confused and even frightened over the changes in Spock. _Jim,_ he thought, _I must go to him, I must make him understand_. However, before he could take even a single step he heard a startled shout. His heart was pounding in his side as he ran towards the sound.

When he arrived he found Jim on his knees in front of one of the plants his face and shirt covered with a fine coating of spores. He looked up as Spock approached and a beautiful smile spread across his face.

"Spock," he breathed sounding awed.

Spock smiled and held out his hand. "Now you understand," he said.

Jim reached out and took Spock's hand as he rose to his feet. "Yes," he whispered as he pulled Spock towards him. This time when their lips met, he did not pull away.

Spock gasped in pleasure as Jim brought his arms up around Spock's neck and wove his fingers through Spock's silky soft hair, the slight touch intensely arousing to his senses as well as his body. Spock deepened the kiss without hesitation feeling the other man's arousal as though it was his own as their bodies pressed against each other. Spock moved his hands to mirror Jim's actions wanting desperately to touch Jim's hair as Jim was touching his, something he had longed to do for what seemed like forever. The sensation was as exquisite as he had dreamed it would be and for several moments he was lost in the pleasure until his body demanded more and he moved his hands slowly down Jim's back loving the feel of the strong muscles beneath his hands and though he longed to feel that cooler skin he kept up the slow strokes even as he felt Jim's arms move down.

Spock could feel Jim's strong arms pulling him closer and he tightened his own hold on the other man the feelings of their chests crushed together enough to make him gasp again. At Jim's answering gasp he brought his mouth to Jim's yet again feeling he could never get enough of the taste or feel of the man in his arms.

Not breaking the kiss, he lowered his hands until they were resting on Jim's waist then slowly moved them to the small of Jim's back where his shirt had ridden up. Brushing his hands over the soft yet firm flesh he felt another burst of arousal and pulled their bodies even closer until they were touching from their knees to their chests, their bodies perfectly aligned. This elicited a low moan from Jim as their erections brushed against each other and Spock's answering moan felt torn from his throat. Spoke tore his mouth from Jim's and rested his forehead upon Jim's both men gasping in an attempt to catch their breath. Spock was overjoyed. Never had he imagined that touching Jim could feel so _wonderful._

Spock was in the arms of the being he loved and he no longer needed to hide behind the mask of logic and stoicism. Spock could express his feelings without being judged and ridiculed by his peers or anyone else. Jim understood Spock as completely as Spock understood him. Suddenly simply touching was no longer enough as Spock was inundated with yet another burst of arousal and his body, his soul, demanded more.

"Let's return to the _Enterprise_, Jim," Spock whispered. Spock wanted to show Jim how much Jim meant to him and he wished to do it properly in his bed in his cabin where they could be deliciously alone; where he could worship the other man until their passions were sated.

Jim smiled. "Yes," he said, whispering into Spock's ear where the warm puffs of air set off another explosion of sensation that went straight to his arousal.

Spock could not keep from kissing the other man again and for several minutes they clung to each other as he drank greedily from the other man's lips. When Spock finally pulled back to look at Jim he took in the kiss swollen lips and the flushed cheeks but it was the blue eyes that captured him. Those eyes that shined with the great love that Jim felt for him. At Jim's beautiful smile Spock smiled back and led them to the beam up point Jim's hand clasped firmly in his.

Spock pulled out his communicator. "Enterprise, two to beam up."

When they rematerialized in the transporter room, Mr. Scott was nowhere to be seen although the room was filled with at least a dozen other crew members. As they emerged into the hallway the crowd continued but began to dwindle out until the halls were strangely empty. However, Spock was too intent on getting them to his cabin to spare a thought as to what might be going on.

Jim had been strangely silent as they made their way through the halls but the second they arrived in Spock's quarters and the door closed behind them he was pushing Spock against the door and kissing him passionately once again. Spock eagerly accepted the kiss and returned it with equal ferocity. Spock brought his hands to back to Jim's back and caressed the soft, silken skin again. However, that small bit of skin was no longer enough to satisfy him. Spock slowly removed Jim's shirts only breaking the kiss to pull the shirts over Jim's head. Tossing the shirts carelessly on the ground he gazed at the skin now exposed to him.

Spock let his hands explore Jim's body even as he began to kiss down the other man's neck longing to touch and taste every inch of him. His hands brushed against Jim's nipples and as a moan escaped from Jim's full lips, Spock lowered his mouth to catch the tiny nub with his teeth.

Jim cried out Spock's name when Spock laved the rosy nipple with his tongue and was now clutching Spock desperately. When Spock moved to stimulate the other nipple, Jim cried out again and the sound of his name being said with such obvious passion was music to Spock's ears. Jim's legs started to buckle but Spock's strong arms prevented him from falling as he easily lifted the other man to him. Jim immediately wrapped his legs around Spock's waist and was simultaneously kissing him and trying to remove Spock's shirt. Spock easily held the other man with one arm as he grabbed his own shirt and ripped it off without separating his mouth from Jim's for more than a second.

Jim pulled back and stared at him, mouth hanging open. "Shit, that's hot," was all he got out before Spock was kissing him again and moving towards the bed. Spock unceremoniously dropped them onto the bed without breaking the kiss although he was careful not to land too forcefully on the other man. Jim's arms were wound tightly around Spock's neck, his legs around Spock's waist and as he pulled them impossibly closer together Spock felt their erections brush together, Spock couldn't stop himself from grinding down against the other man, the sensation so exquisite that he cried out before thrusting down again and again.

He was vaguely aware of Jim pushing against his chest and he raised his head to see Jim's eyes focused on him. Jim was now reaching between them, his fingers going immediately to the fastening on Spock's regulation trousers. "Off!" was all he said before Spock was pulling away and pulling them to their feet once more.

Hands frantic, Jim was able to undo Spock's pants and push them down, along with his briefs, over his hips. Spock hurriedly stepped out of his shoes, briefs, and pants and then kicked them away before reaching for Jim's pants. Just as quickly, the rest of Jim's clothing was removed and as Jim kicked them away, Spock stood back to look at the other man. Running his eyes slowly down the body in front of him he admired the golden skin, the broad shoulders, the strong chest, and the muscled abs before lowering his gaze to take in the heavily muscled thighs. Jim's penis was already fully erect, rising from a bed of golden curls. Seeing the drop of moisture that had gathered at the tip, Spock was suddenly seized with the desire to taste the other man and he dropped to his knees. Placing a series of soft kisses down Jim's belly and down onto his thighs, Spock could feel the muscles quivering under his lips. When he placed a gentle kiss on the rosy tip and tasted Jim's essence for the first time, he opened his mouth to engulf the silken flesh.

Jim cried out and Spock felt him grip his shoulders tightly. For several moments he reveled in the taste and feel of Jim's penis in his mouth and on his tongue but when Jim began to pull him up, urgently tugging on his shoulders Spock let the organ gently slip from his lips before rising gracefully to his feet.

Jim was on him before he had even fully risen and Spock found himself pushed onto his back on the bed as Jim knelt next to him. As he reached to pull Jim into his arms the other man pulled back and shook his head, a beautiful smile on his face.

"Let me," he said softly and at Spock's nod Jim knelt over him and Spock felt his erection immediately engulfed in the cooler mouth. As he thrust up, unable to stop himself, he felt Jim place a hand on his hip, gently but firmly holding him in place, murmuring "easy" before taking Spock in his mouth again.

Spock held himself still but could not keep himself quiet as Jim licked and sucked his erection. "Jim!" he exclaimed over and over, the name like some kind of chant from his lips. Jim released Spock's penis from his mouth and moved until his was straddling Spock's hips, his legs splayed out on either side. Spock rolled them over until he was laying full length upon the other man, his hips now cradled between Jim's thighs.

Spock settled above Jim and met his lips with his own kissing him deeply before moving down Jim's neck before coming back to kiss him yet again. When Spock ground his hips down onto Jim's he felt their erections come together for the first time with nothing between them and Jim arched up to meet him as they groaned into each other's mouths. Spock could feel Jim's hands as they moved across Spock's back and he wrapped his arms tightly around the other man. Their erections, heavy and moist with pre-cum, were trapped between their bodies as they began to move together.

"Look at me," Jim softly demanded and Spock lifted his head and locked eyes with Jim. Jim's fingers gently caressed the side of Spock's face. "I love you, Spock," he whispered softly, but Spock heard him clearly.

"As I love you," Spock said tenderly as his fingers stroked gently down Jim's face. Jim smiled brightly and Spock found himself smiling back with the same intensity. The pleasure continued to build as Spock increased the speed and pressure of his thrusts, his eyes never leaving Jim's.

Their moans mixed with each others even as they began to gasp out each other's names. Spock could feel the pleasure continue to build until at last he could hold it back no longer and a burst of white, hot pleasure shook his body to the core. Spock felt Jim tense beneath him then felt a burst of warmth between them as Jim climaxed, his shout of pleasure wringing another cry from Spock as he thrust once more then collapsed onto the other man.

For several moments he laid there, his arms wrapped tightly around Jim as he fought to catch his breath. Realizing he was likely too heavy for the other man, Spock reluctantly moved to lie next to him although he did not release his hold even as Jim's hold tightened around Spock.

For the first time in his life, Spock was very much at peace at that moment. Jim was in his arms and finally understood the importance and power of the spores. Jim now knew how much Spock loved him and Spock knew that Jim loved him in return and the knowledge made Spock almost dizzy with happiness. Jim sighed contentedly and tucked his head against Spock's neck and was soon asleep, his breaths soothing against Spock's skin. For a moment he allowed himself the additional pleasure of holding Jim to him before he too slipped into sleep.

Dr. Leonard H. McCoy was having the time of his life. He had a mint julep in one hand, and a gorgeous lady on the other. McCoy was sitting comfortably underneath the shade of tree on the clear sunny day sipping his refreshing drink, thinking about how great his new life was going to be. No more Klingon and Romulan confrontations, no more late nights and early mornings, and, most importantly, no more living on a spaceship in space!

Leila Kalomi, his beautiful companion, was well on her way to getting over Spock and was now interested with McCoy. McCoy liked to thank his Southern charm, chivalrous manner, and dashingly good looks. McCoy and Leila were in the process of getting to know each other more intimately when Leila's eyes lit up. "I have a wonderful idea," Leila said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Tell me all about it, darlin'," McCoy replied, warmly.

The brilliant idea was to beam some of the plants on board the _Enterprise _to share the knowledge of the spores with the rest of the crew. McCoy agreed it wasn't fair to keep the feeling of great happiness to a small number of the crew. The two transplanted several of the plants to the beam up point. When McCoy had contacted the ship Scotty hadn't hesitated to agree to beam him up. The rest was easy as Grandma McCoy's famous pecan pie, even though the unfortunate Scotsman had had to be secured in the brig. Within two hours almost all of the _Enterprise _crew had beamed down to the surface. They had quickly understood and experienced the importance of what the spores had to offer and even now were still beaming down. They had immediately begun to set up campsites and were already beginning to pair up. _Yes, life on the planet was good,_ McCoy thought as he leaned back and took another sip of his perfect julep.

Jim was having the most incredible dream; he and Spock were kissing passionately and were naked and tangled with each other, although that was not the best part of the dream. Spock was looking at him so tenderly and he told Jim that he loved him. Jim felt himself floating away in a haze of pleasure.

When he awoke he stretched slowly feeling warm and comfortable. However, he quickly became aware that he was not alone. He was lying with his head on a warm chest and he was being held in a strong but gentle embrace. His eyes flying open he came face to face with Spock who was regarding him quietly with his chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh, God," he whispered. "It wasn't a dream."

"No, it was not," was the quiet response as the warm arms fell away.

Jim couldn't help the shiver that ran through him at both the toneless voice and the warmth that was now gone.

"Spock, I am so sorry," he stuttered out as he pulled back from the other man.

Jim felt his heart sink. _The spores_ he could feel that his mind was clearer but he could remember every single moment of the time when he had been affected. How he had melted into Spock's embrace, the absolutely incredible intensity of the passion they had shared, how he had told Spock he loved him, the dizzying happiness he had felt when Spock said had that he loved him too.

"Oh, my god," he said softly. "Spock, I am so sor"- he cut off abruptly when Spock rose from the bed and began to pull on his clothes, his face completely expressionless and his eyes blank. There was none of the warmth that had been present earlier.

"Apologies are illogical," Spock said. "There is no need for you to concern yourself with our unfortunate reaction to the alien spores."

Jim felt a stab of hurt at the cold words. "Unfortunate reaction…" he echoed listlessly.

When he saw Spock pulling on his boots Jim scrambled out of the bed and hastily pulled on his pants. "Spock, wait!" he exclaimed as the Vulcan moved towards to door. "Don't go like this, please."

Spock stopped but did not turn around. "I do not know to what you are referring."

"The hell you don't!" he said before he could stop himself, the hurt a burning pain in his chest.

Jim took a slow breath. "Look, I know you're upset about what happened. I get that."

"Vulcan's do not get upset."

"Then why can't you look at me?" Jim asked softly, hating the pleading in his voice but he couldn't let Spock just walk away and pretend that nothing had happened. This was what he had feared while down on the planet, before the spores, that Spock would regret anything that happened and would never forgive Jim for allowing it to happen. He saw Spock stiffen at his words and Jim felt his dread ratchet up another notch. He didn't think he could take it if his friendship with Spock was permanently ruined.

"For what reason would I need to look at you?" Spock replied tonelessly.

Jim crossed the room to stand behind the other man. He put his hand on Spock's shoulder, half expecting him to jerk away. Jim felt a small flare of hope when Spock only stiffened slightly but did not immediately pull away. "Spock, please?" he said gently. He felt Spock take a deep breath before he was turning and looking at Jim, the movement dislodging Jim's hand from his shoulder. Jim felt his heart sink again.

"What would you have me say?" he asked.

"Spock, the spores"-

Spock lowered his brows. "What about them?" he asked his voice harsh.

Jim flinched at the harsh tone but then forced himself to answer. "They made you have feelings," he said softly.

"As I told you on the planet, the spores do nothing of the sort," Spock snapped. "You are also well aware that I have always had emotions, quite intense emotions as you well know, the spores did not give them to me."

"I know you are angry that"-

"You know nothing!"

Jim saw that Spock was flushed and his fists were now clenched at his sides and he took an involuntary step back at the vehemence in Spock's voice. "Then explain it to me," he said.

"You could not understand."

Jim felt the fragile hold on his own control shattering. "I can't understand?" he asked incredulously. "Do you think that this is easy for me? That I am so quick to screw anyone that 'this' didn't mean anything? That I take our friendship so lightly?" Stepping close enough that he was well within Spock's personal space he asked "Is that what you think?"

That got a reaction. Jim could not miss the flare of pain in Spock's dark eyes or the slumping of the strong shoulders.

"No," he said finally. "I do not think that. I am well aware that this situation is most difficult for you as well."

'Then what are you thinking?" Jim asked, still standing close to the other man. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he watched Spock take several deep breaths, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"Jim…"

"What?" he asked. When the other man remained silent, Jim couldn't take it anymore. "Spock, for god's sake, please just say it!"

"I am ashamed!" Spock said, his voice sounding as though it had been torn from his throat as he moved to stand several feet away from Jim.

Jim felt like he had been slugged in the gut with a sledgehammer and for a moment he couldn't find the breath to speak. "Ashamed," he said finally feeling his heart sink once more. Spock did not turn to face him.

"Jim, you are not a Vulcan," he said. "You do not understand. What I did was not only inexcusable, it was unthinkable!"

For one horrible moment Jim thought he might throw up. He had been afraid that Spock would regret anything that happened while he was under the influence of the spores, but he felt sick knowing that the thought of what had happened made Spock feel ashamed. When he could finally speak all that came out was a hoarse whisper, "You're ashamed that we…"

"I am ashamed that I lost control," Spock said, his head bowed and his eyes on the floor. "For a Vulcan there is no greater shame."

"But you didn't…the spores…" Jim couldn't get more than a few words to come out.

"That is no excuse!" Spock exclaimed. "I should have been able to control my reaction to them. Not only did I plead with you and do everything I could to expose you while you were still unaffected, once you were under the influence of the spores I took advantage of the situation for my own gratification. It is unheard of for a Vulcan to behave in such a manner, to say the things I..."

Jim was across the room in three quick strides. "Spock, you didn't…" he protested gripping Spock's arm urgently.

Spock shook him off and stepped back. "Do not!"

Jim flinched, his arm dropping to his side. Spock's reaction to his touch hurt more than his words and he felt something inside him break.

"I'm sorry that you find it so horrible. I'm sorry that you feel shame about something that was so…" Jim cut himself off before he could finish. Taking several deep breaths trying to calm the sick feeling, he began again. "I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to say no but only because it ended up hurting you. I never wanted that."

For several moments neither of them spoke. Jim moved listlessly across to the bed where he picked up the rest of his clothes putting them on before sitting on the bed and pulling on his boots. Hearing steps he looked up to see Spock was now standing in front of him.

"When we became friends, I also felt great shame," he said slowly. "As a Vulcan I had no need for a friend."

Jim swallowed determined not to show how much those words hurt. "I'm sorry, Spock," he said hollowly. Unable to look at the other man he stood slowly. "I'll just go now." Spock stepped in front of him and blocked the way. "Spock…"

"I had no _need_ of a friend yet I found that most illogically I _wanted_ to be yours," he continued.

"Jim, may I make an inquiry?"

Jim nodded not trusting himself to speak.

"When we were…intimate, you said that you loved me. Did you mean those words?"

Jim hesitated but then nodded. "Yes," he said "I meant it. I've felt like that for a while now but I never would have said anything. I was good with being your friend."

"I am unaccustomed to speaking of such things," Spock said. "Jim, I do not want to feel this shame but I do not know how not to. I do not know how to say, to express…"

Jim felt that flare of hope as Spock looked at him, his eyes no longer blank. There was no mistaking the longing that Jim saw in the chocolate depths. "You don't have to say anything," he said gently. "You can just nod or shake your head. Do you want this? I mean, do you want to be with me, as more than friends?"

Spock nodded slowly.

Jim smiled gently at the other man, not wanting to overwhelm him. "Then you don't have to be ashamed," he said softly. "I want it too. I know this is hard for you so I won't force you or push the issue if you decide that this is something you just can't do." Jim took a small step towards Spock and held out his hand "But if you want it, it's yours," he said, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

For several moments Spock did not move and Jim could see the conflict in his eyes and in the way he clenched and unclenched his hands. When several more seconds passed and Spock remained where he was, Jim swallowed his pain and disappointment and took a step back and let his arm drop to his side. He started to turn away, not wanting Spock to see how hurt he was, but was stopped by a warm hand grasping his.

"Wait."

For a moment Spock merely looked at him and Jim hardly dared to breathe as he stared back at the other man but then Spock was stepping towards him and pulling Jim into an awkward embrace. Jim tentatively put his arms around Spock and after several seconds he felt the Vulcan relax against him. Jim didn't know how long they stood there before they were startled apart by a loud voice coming over the ship wide comm.

"Is anyone bloody here?"

Jim looked at Spock. "That's Scotty," he said before his eyes grew wide. "Oh, god! The ship, the spores!" He went immediately to the comm.

"Scotty?"

"Captain, where the hell are ye?" came the frantic reply. "I've been trying to reach someone for half an hour."

Jim felt a knot of fear. "Mr. Spock and I are in his quarters," he said with an inward wince "and what do you mean you've been trying to reach someone? Where is everyone?"

"Captain they all started beaming down to the planet hours ago," Scotty said. "It was those damn plants. They made everyone go mad. They started beaming down to the planet and I couldn't find you or Mr. Spock anywhere. I was in the brig and then had to go'n hide to keep them from infecting me with the bloody things."

"Where are you now?" Jim asked.

"I'm in engineering," he said. "There is not another bloody soul on the ship except for us three. Uhura sabotaged the communications relay so the only place we can contact is the planet."

"Understood," Jim said. "Stay where you are. Spock and I will meet you in ten minutes."

"Aye, Captain, but be careful. Those bloody plants are everywhere."

When Jim turned he found Spock was standing at his side. "Spock," he began.

"Jim, it is imperative that we find out what has happened, as well as a solution," Spock said.

"However I wish to finish our discussion as soon as we have done so," he said before leaning over to kiss Jim quickly but tenderly, his expression unsure as he stepped back.

Jim couldn't help the smile even though his heart was pounding in fear over what had apparently happened while he was infected by the spores.

"Me too," he said as they headed out the door and towards engineering. "Spock, why aren't we still infected?" he asked.

Spock shook his head. "Unknown."

It took them longer to get there than they had thought because everywhere they turned they found the plants. Several times they had to turn back and finally used a Jeffries tube to get to engineering. By the time they arrived they found Scotty wringing his hands, an expression of worry and anger on his face.

"I cannae believe the bloody fools," he said. "And where the hell were you two? And why were ye not infected?"

Jim held up his hand to stop the flow of words from the Scotsman. "We were down on the planet, we were infected but we aren't anymore and we haven't been back on board that long," he hedged.

Scotty stared at them. "Ye were?" he asked slowly.

Jim could practically see the wheels turning in the other man's head and he winced inwardly as Scott looked at them curiously. Luckily Jim was saved from having to answer by Spock who had come to stand in front of the other man.

"That is not important, Mr. Scott," Spock said firmly.

Scotty's eyes snapped quickly to him as Spock went on. "How is it that there are so many of the plants on board?"

Scotty's expression quickly became one of anger. "It was Dr. McCoy," he said. "He called me saying he needed to beam up some of the colonists to sickbay. But when I beamed him up it was only Ensign Parker and a bunch of the bloody plants. 'The doctor wanted me to bring these first,' he says. Then when two o' my boys went to help him, the bloody things start shooting off everywhere. I'm in the middle of beaming up the doctor and here the other security guard comes with another load of 'em. They start carrying them out of the transporter room and one of them explodes all over me and Ensign Nelson and I tell ya Captain I was s'bloody mad, they gave not one thought to the delicate equipment and that damn pollen was everywhere - "

"You were exposed to the spores?" Jim asked quickly.

Scotty nodded. "Aye, Captain," he said.

"But you weren't affected by them?"

"No, Captain," Scotty said. "It wasn't five minutes before crew started showin' up and demanding to be beamed down to the planet. The whole lot was besotted with those damn 'spores' they called them and they wouldn't listen to a damn word I said. I gave one of them a punch that should have felled him but they went bloody on as if nothing was amiss. Captain, I give ye my word that I was not the one responsible for beaming your entire crew down to that bloody place!"

"Explain," Jim snapped, "how the hell my whole damn crew ended up leaving the ship?"

Scotty looked at him awkwardly for a moment before he answered. "Why, it was mutiny, Captain," he said slowly. "When I tried to stop them they threw me in the brig. I was ne'er s' angry as I was then. Took me hours to get out and after that I had t' hide and the bloody plants were still spewin' everywhere!"

"Mutiny," Jim said feeling somewhat sick at the thought. He was vaguely aware of Spock laying a hand on his shoulder and he forced himself to focus when Spock spoke.

"Captain," he said, "if I may, I believe I may have a theory as to why Mr. Scott was not affected as well as why you and I are no longer affected."

"Let's hear it," he said rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, a habit he had when he was nervous.

"As you recall the colonists were all in a state of serenity and happiness which were given to them by these spores," he began.

Jim nodded. "Yeah," he said "go on."

"Captain, did you notice that everyone seemed, how shall I say this, perhaps too serene?" Spock asked.

Jim frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Mr. Sandoval did not get angry or upset when we informed him they would all have to be evacuated," he said. "When Ms. Kalomi approached me I was, I am afraid to say, quite rude to her but she never, as you would say, blinked an eye." Here Spock paused a moment and Jim could see him flush slightly. "When I was affected I was first overwhelmed with the intensity of the emotions I could feel but even then I knew that something was off, as you would say. When I was with Ms. Kalomi I found it pleasant but in no way intense. I was constantly aware of something being off even as I found joy in the simplest things."

Jim smiled "Like climbing trees?"

"Precisely," Spock replied. "Although it was only when I saw you that I realized what was wrong. It was only your strong emotion that broke through to me even if it did not completely obliterate the affect of the spores."

Jim had forgotten that Scotty was even in the room until Spock turned to address him. Turning as well Jim saw that Scotty was looking at them speculatively before he turned his attention to Spock.

"Mr. Scott, did you not say that you were incredibly angry at the time you were exposed to the spores?" Spock asked.

Scotty nodded. "Aye," he said.

"And that you remained angry after you were exposed and were thrown in the brig?"

"Aye."

"Anger is a very strong emotion, is it not?" Spock asked.

Jim felt a smile breaking across his face. "Spock, you're a genius!" he said. "I think I know what you are getting at. You believe that a strong emotion will overcome the effects of the spores?"

Spock nodded. "That is my theory," he said.

Scotty nodded as well. "Aye, that could explain it," he said. "I was fit to be tied, I was. But what was it that got rid of the spores affects on you two?"

Jim felt himself blushing. There was no way he was telling Scotty that his strong emotion had been an intense orgasm and love fest with Spock! He ignored Scotty's last question and turned to Spock.

"So how do we get all of the colonists and the crew to get angry all at once?" he asked. "That's over 500 people."

Spock clasped his hands behind his back. "I also have a theory regarding that," he said. "Mr. Scott you said that the communications relay was sabotaged in such a way that only communication with the planet is possible did you not?"

"Aye."

"If I was to create a resonance that was unable to be heard by humans yet still picked up by their auditory systems, could you boost the power so that this signal could be broadcast over the entire planet surface?"

"Aye, with some modifications it could be done," Scotty replied.

"And how long would this take?"

"A couple of hours tops."

Jim looked between the two of them. "What exactly are we talking about?" he asked.

Spock looked at him. "Although the sound would not be actually heard by the people on the planet it would be felt," he said. "Such a thing would be quite irritating. It is my plan that it would incite the people on the planet to anger."

"Are you certain that will work?" Jim asked.

Spock nodded. "I have calculated a 98.7% chance that it will."

Jim nodded. "Ok then," he said "Scotty you get started on those modifications."

"Aye," Scotty said before heading into another section of engineering.

Jim looked at Spock. "What do you need me to do?"

"I will need your assistance on the bridge," he said. "I have no way of knowing what the lieutenant did to the communications and I may need to effect repairs before I can make the modifications for the resonance wave."

Jim clapped him on the back. "Well, let's get going then," he said.

As they waited for the turbo lift that would take them in the direction of the bridge, he turned to look at Spock who was regarding him intently.

"What did you mean when you said you felt something was off?" he asked.

"I could not determine what it was until I saw you," he said quietly. "That was when I knew what was wrong."

"What did you know?" Jim asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Spock reached out his hand to brush it gently against Jim's. "I knew then that it was you I wanted to be with and that without you, all the happiness the spores gave me would mean nothing. Jim, I do not know what to do or how to go about being with you but I wish to learn."

Jim brushed his hand against Spock's before taking it lightly into his own just as the turbo lift arrived. "I'm glad," he said. "I want to be with you, too." Smiling brightly at the other man he stepped into the lift. "C'mon Spock" he said. "Let's get our crew back.

"Indeed."

Ten minutes later Jim was pacing on the bridge and trying not to stare at Spock who had crawled underneath the panel for the communications grid. Jim had tried repeatedly to raise someone on the comm but it was as Scotty had said. The only place they could communicate with was the planet surface and Jim had no desire to alert anyone on the planet to the fact that he and Spock were now on board. However, thankfully ship wide communication was still possible. He was now searching a PADD for schematics for the communications relay on the chance that they would be unable to repair the damage from the bridge.

"Jim"

Jim raised his head from the PADD he was scrolling through and immediately went to kneel next to Spock who had backed out from the panel.

"Captain, I believe you would say we are in luck," he said. "While the main grid is damaged beyond immediate repair, the secondary grid is in working order. It is now simply a matter of rerouting the power and rewiring the secondary grid to take over from the damaged on. We are fortunate that the lieutenant did not think to destroy that one as well."

"How long will it take to do all that?" Jim asked.

Spock glanced at the tricorder in his hand. "I estimate 1.57 hours to complete," he said before looking up at Jim. "However, I will require your assistance. The board is quite complex and though I could perform the task alone it would be much more efficacious if I had an extra set of hands, as you say."

Jim glanced skeptically at the narrow opening. "You're pretty skinny, Spock," he said teasingly. "But I don't think we'll both fit in there."

Spock arched a brow. "I was not even going to suggest such a thing, Captain," he said primly as he loosened and removed another panel creating a much larger opening.

Jim smirked. "So, where do you want me?" he asked before realizing how that had sounded. He felt himself blushing furiously.

Spock had obviously picked up on the innuendo as well and Kirk saw him flush a pale green as his brow nearly disappeared under his hair line.

Handing Jim a tool kit, he gestured to the left side. "There should be an adequate place for you, Captain," he said his expression placid but Jim could have sworn Spock's eyes were smiling and amused.

Within minutes they were both ensconced within the panel. It was a rather tight fit but they were able to move their hands and arms freely. Jim was fairly knowledgeable about most of the inner workings on the ship but he could admit he was somewhat out of his element here. Spock seemed to have no worries as he requested specific tools or indicated to Jim where he should hold.

Several times their hands had brushed together and the first time it happened, Jim saw Spock glance at him and heard his own quick intake of breath before Spock once again turned away and focused on the work. Jim forced himself to do the same but he couldn't help but be surprised that the board didn't simply go up in flames as each accidental touch brought with it a spark of awareness.

Less than an hour later Jim held up the PADD for him to read from as Spock inputted one last series of codes into the grid before making his way out from underneath the panel. Jim accepted the hand that Spock extended to help him to his feet. "So that's it?" he asked.

Spock shook his head. "The grid is repaired but now I must input the data to convert the signal into a resonance wave," he said. "It is again fortunate that the lieutenant did not render this part of communications inoperable."

"Do you need any help with that?" Jim asked.

"No," Spock responded. However, after a moment Spock turned back towards him. "Thank you," he added.

Jim shrugged. "No problem," he said. Spock nodded and once again focused on the board in front of him. Jim felt self conscious just standing there, although he enjoyed watching Spock work. The way his hands would fly over the keyboard and he could read, at a glance, information passing by too quickly on the screen for Jim to even get a glimpse of. Those long fingered hands could handle the tiniest circuit or the most delicate tools with ease and grace and Jim doubted he would ever stop being fascinated with them. Realizing that he was still standing there staring at Spock, who thankfully appeared to be completely absorbed in his work, Jim went to the captain's chair just to refocus himself.

Deciding to do something useful he commed down to engineering. "Mr. Scott, report," he said.

After a moment Scotty came on the line. "Scott here," he said. "Captain, I have just finished modifying the power distribution to the communications relay. With this boost the signal will be felt all over the planet surface."

"Very good Mr. Scott," Jim said. "I will need you to go immediately to the transporter room. We don't know how quickly this will work so you need to be ready. Arm yourself with a phaser set on stun just in case anyone shows up and is acting violently. Mr. Spock and I will join you as soon as he is done."

"It will be completed in 3.78 minutes, captain," he said.

"We will be there within 10 minutes," he added "Kirk, out." Jim walked back over to the communications station where Spock was still working quickly. For several moments he was silent, not wanting to disturb the other man but then a thought occurred to him. "Spock," he said "when this signal starts the result will be irritation and anger on the parts of the people on the planet, right?"

"Yes, Captain," Spock said, without turning from the screen in front of him. "This signal will impact the auditory nerves which will in turn negatively stimulate the part of the brain where anger is processed. However, it will not cause any permanent damage."

"Will it affect us here on the ship?" Jim asked.

"Negative," Spock replied. "The signal is directed only at the planet and will not be perceivable here on the ship."

"Ok, good," Jim said. "The last thing we need to do is get ourselves all riled up."

"Indeed," Spock replied. "I believe it is now finished and ready to go on your signal, Captain."

Jim went back to the chair and pressed the comm. "Scotty, what is your location?" he asked.

"I've just gotten to the transporter room, Captain," he said. "I'm ready when ye are."

"Okay we are starting the signal now," Jim said.

"Aye."

"Spock, how long will it take before we know if it is working?" he asked.

"Unknown, Captain," he said, before arching a brow. "However, if I were to attempt a guess I would postulate that it would not take long, given human propensities for strong emotion."

Jim couldn't help the laugh as he saw the twinkling in Spock's eyes. Damn but his Vulcan was getting a sense of humor. "C'mon," he said still grinning. "Let's get ourselves down to the transporter room."

"Aye, Captain."

With all the pressing business of getting people to understand the spores out of the way, all McCoy wanted to do was continue where he and Leila had left off without further interruption. However, all that was shot to hell when Sulu strolled up to join the couple.

"Hello, my dear doctor! And hello to you, lovely lady. My name is Hikaru Sulu and I hope we will get to know each other much better in the future," he said kissing Leila's hand and smiling his now ever-present smile.

Leila smiled and blushed attractively. "I'm sure we will." Encouraged, Sulu proceeded to wrap an arm around Leila's shoulders.

This act sparked intense jealously within McCoy. _Who does Sulu think he is? _he thought. It should have been evident from how close they were standing that McCoy and Leila were more than mere acquaintances or friends. However, Sulu seemed to think it was perfectly okay to flirt with Leila. McCoy was going to put a stop to this before it even had a chance to begin.

McCoy managed to plaster on a fake smile. "Ms. Kalomi and I were just leaving, so if you will excuse us, we will be on our way," he said as he proceeded to take Leila's arm and walk away from Sulu.

Sulu, however, was not willing to give up so quickly. He also liked Leila and thought he was a much better choice with his love for botany than the simple, country doctor.

Sulu followed the pair and was able to catch up to them quickly. "Now, McCoy, why don't you leave Leila with me while you go make more of your famous mint juleps for the rest of the crew? You don't want to be rude and take up all of her precious time," he said sweetly

McCoy wasn't about to back down and he could feel his heart beating faster as his anger began to rise. "Now you listen here! We were having ourselves a wonderful time before you showed up and I suggest you leave us alone."

With that, Leila was all forgotten as the two jealous men began arguing. Suddenly the fight between Sulu and McCoy started to become physical as punches and kicks were exchanged along with the verbal attacks. The fight continued for several tense minutes until the two men suddenly stopped and looked around in confusion.

"Just what the hell is going on?" McCoy exclaimed then rushed forward as Leila collapsed, just managing to catch her before she hit the ground.

Sulu looked around. Everywhere he could see, Enterprise crew were fighting and yelling. Many of the colonists were also engaged in brawls although others, like Leila had collapsed to the ground.

"I don't know, doc," Sulu said quickly. "It looks like it's affecting everyone."

McCoy pulled out his communicator. "We need to get her back to the ship," he said as he flipped it open. "McCoy to Enterprise."

"Scott here, is that you Dr McCoy?"

McCoy frowned. "Who the hell else would it be?" he snapped.

"Aye, that's him alright," he heard before the sound of laughter came over the communicator,

"I don't know what the hell you think is so damn funny but you need to beam me up right fucking now," he snapped again. "I've got a medical emergency here and we are about to have a whole lot more."

"Aye, Doctor," Scotty replied. "I've locked onto your coordinates now.

When the doctor rematerialized, Spock could not help his quickly indrawn breath at the site of the doctor holding Leila's limp body. Quickly retrieving the stretcher they had had the foresight to bring to the transporter room he watched as the doctor lay her on it. He could see the steady rise and fall of her chest and he breathed a sigh of relief that she was alive. While he had no romantic feelings for her, he did not wish her harm.

"What happened to her?" Jim asked stepping up the stretcher where McCoy was strapping her down.

"I don't know," McCoy said. "All hell is breaking loose down there and she just suddenly collapsed. I've got to get the other colonists up to sickbay. They were collapsing too."

"Looks like your plan worked, Spock," Jim said.

McCoy looked up from the tricorder he was running over Leila. "What plan?"

Spock stepped forward. "We used a resonance signal to stimulate the portion of the human brain where anger is processed in an attempt to - -"

McCoy looked at Jim. "What the hell is he talking about?" he asked.

Jim sighed. "He was getting to that, Bones," he said wearily. "It seems strong emotions are needed to counteract the affect of the spores."

"Strong emotions, huh?" he drawled. "That explains why Sulu and I were trying to punch each other's lights out. I've got to get her to sickbay. Get me my medical team back up here pronto. I don't care if you have to punch every one of them silly. And get those colonists beamed up!" With that the doctor was heading out the door.

Scotty hit the comm. button. "Enterprise to Mr. Sulu," he said.

"Sulu here."

Jim stepped forward. "Sulu, it's the captain. What's the situation down there?"

"I'm not exactly sure, sir," he said. "Everyone was fighting but now everyone is just standing around confused. What happened?"

"Sulu, we don't have time to get into that," Jim said quickly. "I need you to gather up all the security personnel you can find. I want at least a dozen beamed up to the ship in the next 10 minutes. As soon as they are back on board I want every single one of those plants destroyed, immediately. I want other security personnel locating and accompanying all medical staff immediately back to the ship. They are to go straight to sickbay when they arrive. As they are doing that I want the colonists who have collapsed beamed straight into sickbay. Let Scotty know when you have located them. Understood?"

"Aye, Captain."

Spock turned to the captain. "I was able to disable the signal from here," he said. "It appears we no longer require it."

"Good thinking," Jim said. "I am going to return to the bridge. As soon as the first group of security beams up I want you to get them going on getting rid of those plants. As soon as you have done that, meet me on the bridge."

Spock nodded. "Understood," he said before holding out his hand to stop the captain who was now heading towards the door. "Jim, be careful," he said quietly. "We do not know if we can become reinfected with the spores. It would be best if you could avoid them completely."

Jim nodded. "I will, Spock," he said. "I'll be on the bridge."

"I will join you there as soon as I am able," Spock said.

Just as the captain left the room Scotty began beaming up the first group. "Well, here we go," he said as he and Spock both grabbed their phasers.

"Indeed."

Luckily, they did not need to use the phasers on any of the incoming crew as they appeared looking anything but aggressive and almost all looked embarrassed and confused. Spock quickly explained the situation and sent them off in pairs armed with phasers to disintegrate the plants on sight.

The medical staff had started beaming up while Spock had been briefing security and they were sent immediately to sickbay. The colonists began beaming directly to sickbay within minutes and Spock had to breathe a sigh of admiration for Sulu's quick efficiency. Sulu himself beamed back aboard minutes later and Spock put him in charge of destroying the plants.

After giving Scotty firm orders to contact him immediately if anyone beamed back still under the influence, Spock accompanied a group of security down to the storage area where the Hazmat suits were stored. After obtaining the coordinates for the other colonies he briefed the teams on evacuating the remaining colonies. A quick comm. down to sickbay confirmed that the colonists had all beamed back aboard but that none of them had regained consciousness. Spock informed the doctor that more colonists would be beaming up within the next half hour and requested that any news be commed directly to the bridge. He then joined the team of medical personnel who were setting up some of the recreation areas as makeshift medical bays to accommodate the additional colonists.

As he stepped into the turbolift over an hour later he allowed his mind to focus on Jim for just a few moments as he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. The events of the day were weighing heavily on his mind but he was determined to not let them distract him from his duty. Although he could admit to himself that the thought of being in a relationship with Jim was a frightening one, he could not deny that he wanted it and that Jim's assurances were going a long way towards quieting the shame that Spock felt at wanting such a relationship. Spock was not certain if he was anticipating or dreading the upcoming talk he would share with his captain though if he were completely honest with himself he would admit that he was looking forward to seeing Jim.

When the turbolift doors opened onto the bridge Spock's eyes immediately went to Jim who was sitting in the captain's chair looking at a PADD. The other man turned in the chair and smiled shyly at Spock as he walked up to him, although Spock noted that Jim's face seemed somewhat flushed. Spock felt the corners of his mouth quirking in return and remembering how he had smiled so easily while under the influence of the spores, Spock felt his face flush slightly. His eyes still on the captain, Spock had to acknowledge that he found every one of the captain's smiles fascinating. From the shy smile he now displayed to the brilliant smile Jim had worn earlier to the other 54 different types of smiles that Spock had observed from Jim, they all affected him in one way or another.

Quickly bringing his mind back to the present and away from the allure of Jim's smile, Spock relayed the information that he had gathered.

"Mr. Sulu reports that they have now cleared decks one- eight as well as the areas around sickbay and engineering," he said, his hands clasped behind his back. "He estimates that the entire ship will have been cleared and all plants eliminated within the next 3.5 hours. The ship's environmental filters should take care of any remaining spores that may have gotten into the ventilation and a full sensor sweep of the ventilation system is already underway. They are working quickly now that the crew is beaming back up however, it will take approximately two more hours to beam the remaining crew back aboard. The colonists have all been beamed directly to sickbay and as of 10.7 minutes ago they had not yet regained consciousness. The doctor will notify us here once he has further information. The remaining colonies have been located and teams in full hazmat gear are beaming down to evacuate them. Recreation rooms three and four are in the process of being made into temporary medical quarters. It is estimated it will take approximately 3.2 hours to evacuate the other colonists."

Jim nodded. "Are any of the crew showing any signs of still being under the influence of the spores or having a negative reaction to them?" he asked.

"No, Captain," he said. "Mr. Scott is under orders to inform me immediately should any of the crew beam aboard still under the influence."

"Very good," Jim replied. "I'm trying to do some research here," he said, indicating the PADD in his hand.

"Captain, might I inquire as to what you are looking for?"

"Anything about these spores," he replied, "but I am not having much luck except I did find a report that was submitted before the planet was colonized. They catalogued hundreds of plants but no mention of any spores. The original teams were there for almost nine months surveying and they made no mention of the spores. There aren't any mentions of them in the original reports from these colonists either."

Spock nodded thoughtfully. "If there is no mention of these spores in the initial survey reports or in subsequent reports from the colonists it is logical to conclude that they came to the planet from elsewhere," he said. "The planet was a regular stop for many supply runs. It is possible that the spores were introduced by one of those ships, most likely around the time that the Federation lost contact with the colony."

"That's what I'm thinking, too." Jim said. "I've already sent a preliminary report but what do you want to bet that the Federation puts the whole planet under quarantine."

Spock arched a brow. "You are well aware that I do not gamble," he said, his expression placid. "However, even if I were to wish to indulge in such an activity, I would decline to do so as it appears that you are quite likely correct in your hypothesis. I would not be amenable to being on the losing side of such a wager."

Spock arched his brow even higher when Jim burst out laughing. "Ok, then, got it," he said. "No making losing bets with you." He then shook his head as the smile faded somewhat. "All those people evacuated and losing everything they worked so hard for on that planet, not to mention the loss of all that prime agricultural land. There are so many planets that need food and here we are losing another place to grow cops."

Spock shook his head. "That may not be the case, Captain," he said slowly. "You are aware that what little crops they were growing did flourish. It may be possible for the planet and the colony to be saved as the exposure to the Berthold Rays has been decreasing. As you recall the only reason we were evacuating is because we thought that the colonists would be sick or already dead. It is possible that the environment could be sanitized. It would take some time, perhaps more than a year, but it is quite possible that the colony would not have to completely abandoned. Of course, formal surveys and studies of the planet by scientific teams will be needed before such a thing can be determined."

Jim nodded. "But in the meantime we have almost 200 colonists to evacuate," he said. "Once we have finished beaming everyone aboard we will head to the nearest starbase unless we hear differently from command. At least the closest starbase is pretty close and they are also an advanced medical facility."

"It is 21.73 hours away at warp 4," Spock said. "It is fortuitous that they have a medical facility as it appears that the colonists are suffering from negative side effects."

"Does McCoy have any idea yet what is wrong with them?" Jim asked.

"Not as of this time," Spock answered. "However, I do have a theory."

Jim smiled. "Well, let's hear it then," he said. "I feel more confidence in one of your guesses than in most people's rock hard facts."

Spock flushed slightly at the compliment. "It is hardly a 'guess', Captain. I simply took the facts that are currently available and used them to form a feasible hypothesis," he said primly.

Jim's smile grew wider. "God, I love it when you start talking all sciency." Kirk's face flushed slightly and cleared his throat before continuing. "What I mean is that, um….so what's this hypothesis?"

Spock resisted the urge to arch his brow at the other man although he did put the captain's comment away to further analyze at another time. "As you recall, when we first awakened from the spores influence there was a brief time of disorientation," he said. "Mr. Sulu and Dr. McCoy spoke of confusion after the affects had been neutralized."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, go on."

"The crew had relatively short periods of exposures to the spores, less than a day," Spock said.

"However, the colonists were exposed constantly for several months. While the spores somehow managed to protect them from the damaging effects of the Berthold rays, it is my hypothesis that the colonists became dependant on the spores and would have died without them. I believe that it is now likely that they are suffering from a withdrawal of sorts."

Jim looked at him intently for a moment before answering. "That makes sense," he said finally. "Hopefully there will be no permanent damage but we won't know anything until Bones is finished with his exams and we can get these people to the starbase medical facility. You said that it would be three hours before all the colonists are beamed up?"

"Affirmative, although I must point out that it is now 2.89 hours," Spock said.

Jim grinned again. "Ok," he said. "So we have about 3 hours at the very minimum until we can warp out of here?"

"Providing there are no unforeseen problems, then yes," Spock said but before he could say anything more the turbolift doors opened to admit Uhura, Chekov and Sulu as well as a science crew member and two red shirted security details. All of them wore somewhat embarrassed expressions, but they all went straight to their posts except for Sulu who stopped in front of the captain and Spock.

"Permission to return to bridge duty," he stated formally. "I have turned the search and destroy assignment over to security chief Giotto and Johnson from the science department. They report that things are progressing as ordered, sir."

"Permission granted," Kirk said, but, they were interrupted before anything further could be said.

"McCoy to bridge."

Spock went to the comm.. "Spock here."

"Is Jim with you?"

"Yes"

"Both of you get down to sickbay pronto."

Spock glanced at the captain who nodded. "Very well," he replied. "We will arrive in 10.9 minutes." Spock walked towards the turbolift then stood with his hands behind his back waiting for the captain who was speaking to Sulu and turning over the conn to him.

As he approached Spock, he stopped for a moment then looked around the bridge. "Welcome back, everyone," he said. "I trust we don't need to have an immediate briefing regarding your recent mutiny?"

There were several coughs and murmured "no Captains" as Jim got into the turbolift with Spock.

Once inside, he grinned. "You know I really should give them all hell about this," he said but then his smile faded somewhat. "Although I really can't blame them, I was affected too."

Spock nodded. "We all were," he said quietly. "Was it not you that said there is no shame in something that is beyond our control?"

Jim smirked slightly. "Sounds like something I'd say," he remarked, glancing at Spock before his eyes quickly slid away. "But spores or no spores, I am having the devil of a time keeping my hands off of you," he said softly.

Spock gasped lightly, so lightly that Jim likely had not heard and for several seconds he was silent not knowing what to say to such a statement. Even the knowledge that they were on duty did little to help his control and he fairly burned to touch the other man.

"I am not certain what to say," he said finally "but I believe that an appropriate response would be 'your sentiment is returned'."

When Jim turned another of his brilliant smiles on him, Spock found himself stepping closer.

Jim reached out towards him and lightly brushed his hand against Spock's. "You did that earlier," he said softly. "It felt really good…I mean better, more intense than I thought such a little touch would feel."

"To a Vulcan, it is a great deal more than a simple touch," Spock said, brushing his own hand against Jim's again feeling pleased at the other man's soft gasp. "Vulcan hands are very sensitive," he continued. "Not only are they the center for much of our telepathic abilities, they are also what you would consider an erogenous zone. Touching our hands in this way is to me like a passionate kiss would be to you."

Spock could feel Jim still brushing their hands together and he was aware that the other man had stepped closer but when Jim clasped his hand tightly and slowly rubbed their palms together Spock could not stop his ragged gasp or help tightening his hand around the cooler human one. He was so enthralled that when the lift doors suddenly opened he was momentarily startled.

Jim apparently was as well as they both jerked quickly apart. Luckily no one was in the corridor and Jim gave a sheepish grin as they stepped out of the lift.

"Sorry about that," he said, as they made their way towards sickbay.

"There is no need to apologize," Spock said. "Although, it would be wise if we were to focus on our duties at this time."

Jim laughed softly. "But where's the fun in that?" he asked.

Spock arched a brow and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. "I am sure I do not know to what you are referring, sir," he said.

Jim laughed again. "Oh, I'm sure you don't, Commander," he teased. "Let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into in sickbay."

When they arrived, sickbay was, for want of a better word, in a state of controlled chaos. In one area Chapel was running scans on _Enterprise _crew members. Most of them avoided eye contact with the captain and most wore sheepish or embarrassed expressions, although a few of them looked downright terrified. Though technically the crew had committed mutiny, Jim could hardly see himself charging them when he himself had fallen victim of the spores. Giving the crew what he hoped was an encouraging smile he turned to look for Bones.

He found the doctor monitoring Sandoval. Looking around Jim saw several of the colonists, all of whom were still unconscious. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Spock look towards Leila, who was several beds down but made no other move towards her.

Jim turned back to the doctor. "Well, Bones," he said. "What can you tell me?"

The doctor shook his head. "Well they are all alive," he said. "But I can't even begin to tell you why. There is no evidence of Berthold poisoning or damage from the rays and they all seem as healthy as before, with one exception. They all seem to be suffering from some kind of withdrawal, most likely from those spores."

Spock nodded. "That is not surprising," he stated. "I had postulated that they would likely be suffering from some sort of addiction and withdrawal. Have any of them regained consciousness?"

Jim tried not to feel hurt when he saw Spock look in Leila's direction again, but he couldn't help the memory of Spock kissing her that flashed through his mind. Pushing the disturbing thought away, he turned back to the doctor and realized he had missed part of the answer.

" - were all in pretty severe physical distress as well as emotional. They were all begging to be taken back to the planet or to be given access to the spores. I had no choice but to sedate them. They are all on blood cleansers now, but I don't know if that will get rid of it all or not. Unfortunately, it will be up to the medical facility at the starbase. We are still beaming up folks from the other sites but they all appear to be in the same boat. M'Benga's with them over in our makeshift secondary sickbay."

Jim nodded then glanced over to where Chapel was still scanning the _Enterprise_ crew. "What about our own crew, any negative side effects?"

McCoy shook his head. "No, they all seem to be fine with no trace of the spores left. Unless you want to count them being all kinds of embarrassed, then there's not a thing wrong with them, which reminds me. Hold still you two." Before either could react, the doctor was waving the tricorder over them.

Jim felt himself flushing as the doctor's eyebrow went up and glancing at Spock. He saw the tell tale sign of a green flush on his face as well. The doctor was now looking between the two of them, his brow raised to new heights and a slight smirk on his face.

"Well," he drawled. "Don't seem like you two are any worse for wear either. You both feelin' alright? Spock, you got any of those pesky human emotions still trying to get out?" The sarcasm wasn't hard to miss and Jim cringed slightly.

Spock stiffened immediately. "I am perfectly recovered doctor," he said quickly. "In fact, I have several duties that I must attend to," he said turning to walk away.

McCoy reached out and caught him quickly. "Not so fast," he said. "It's been a long day and both of you are exhausted. I have it under good authority that the destruction of all the plants on board is nearly complete, the colonists have almost all been beamed up and we will be heading to the starbase within the next 3 hours or less. That puts our arrival there sometime tomorrow late evening. The bridge is fully crewed and there is nothing else you can do for now. I am turning over sickbay to gamma crew and getting some rest. They will alert me when they need me. I'm putting you both off duty until beta shift tomorrow unless there is an emergency of the red alert variety."

When they both started to argue, McCoy held up his hand silencing them both. "Get something to eat and then get some rest. Tomorrow will be hectic once we arrive at the starbase and you will both be needed in top form, not keeling over because you were too stubborn to get some rest. You will be alerted if anything happens."

Jim knew better than to argue with the doctor. "Alright," he said. "I'm beat. Can I interest you in some dinner, Mr. Spock?"

Spock nodded. "That would be acceptable," he said.

Jim turned back to the doctor. "You make sure that gamma shift knows to contact me if there are any problems," he said firmly.

McCoy waved them off. "They know," he said "now get out of here. I have real patients to take care of."

Jim saw Spock glancing in Leila's direction again and cleared his throat slightly. "You know if you want to go sit by her or something, it's okay," he said softly. "I can meet you later."

Spock regarded him silently for a moment. "I appreciate the gesture, Jim," he said finally. "But there is nothing that can be accomplished by my sitting at her bedside and…" Face flushing slightly he continued softly, "I would much rather go with you."

They were silent for several minutes after they left the sickbay but it was a comfortable silence. When they approached the officer's mess, Jim stopped.

"I really don't feel like being around a lot of people right now," he said. "Would you be willing to just grab something and eat in my quarters with me?" He half expected Spock to not be comfortable with that idea so Jim was already coming up with possible responses to the refusal, when he felt a warm hand touch his. Looking up, Jim saw that the Vulcan was regarding him with something in his eyes akin to affection and he caught his breath.

"I would be amenable to that suggestion," he said softly.

Jim couldn't hold back the broad smile. "That'd be great!" he said. Within minutes they had picked out their meals and were now sitting at the small table in Jim's quarters where they usually played chess. Not wanting to spook the other man he deliberately kept the conversation light and on the various reports that had come through, although Spock took particular interest in the report that the last of the plants had been destroyed and the samples of the spores had been quarantined.

Jim looked at him. "You ordered samples to be kept?"

Spock nodded. "Yes, but I assure you they are securely contained and will pose no threat," he said. "The majority of them will go to the medical facility, but I marked some for my own personal research. Despite the events of this day, they really are quite fascinating."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, but I can't help worrying about ending up with another mutiny on my hands," he said.

"Do not worry yourself, Jim," Spock said, looking at him sincerely. "I would not have kept any if I thought they would present any possible threat to you or to the ship and crew."

"I know you wouldn't," Jim replied, then smiled. "But I also know you could not pass up the chance to study something so fascinating."

Spock arched a brow. "Indeed, I could not," he said. "All other…considerations aside, those spores managed to completely counteract the deadly rays and give the colonists perfect health. For that alone it is worth it for them to be studied for further use in the medical or science fields."

Jim rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder if they will keep their good health now that they aren't constantly exposed to the spores," he asked. "I know the other, um, effects wore off once the spores were counteracted."

"Indeed," Spock replied. "However, until all the colonists can be examined and studies made, we have no way of knowing."

Jim nodded, and then gestured at the half empty plates. "You done?" he asked. At Spock's nod they cleared the dishes and put them on the tray. "If you want we can, um, talk and I can make you some of that tea you love so much, um, I mean…I think I have some Vulcan tea programmed in my replicator." Cursing his tendency to blush and suddenly feeling nervous now that dinner was done, he turned his back to Spock and made a show of rearranging the dishes on the tray just to hide his embarrassment. He almost started when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Jim."

Turning slowly he saw Spock was looking at him, his usually expressionless face looking almost shy.

"I would very much enjoy having some tea, if it means I can remain in your company for a while longer," he said softly.

Jim smiled and nodded. "Yeah, me too," he said. Gesturing to the sofa he continued, "I'll get it." As he turned back to the replicator he punched in the codes, then cursed under his breath when he spilled half the first cup because his hands were shaking so badly.

Spock stepped up quickly. "Are you injured?" he inquired, taking Jim's hand into his and looking at it closely.

Jim shook his head even as his breath caught in his throat from the warmth spreading from Spock's hand to his. "No, I'm fine," he said. "I didn't burn myself, just spilled it everywhere. Sorry. I'm just nervous, I guess," he said as he set about punching in the code again, although he did not pull his hand from Spock's grasp.

"I, too, am nervous," Spock said as he gently stroked the back of Jim's hand.

"You are?" Jim asked. "I mean not that anything is wrong with that. I'm nervous. Oh, shit I already said that. But even though we, uh, earlier, it feels different being here with you now. We have had a hundred dinners together and now I am nervous." Realizing he was rambling, he stopped talking and brought his other hand to clasp Spock's, rubbing his thumb across the back of his hand and hearing Spock's sharp intake of breath.

Spock seemed to recover from Jim's stimulating ministrations. "I believe the reason as to why we are nervous is the new found vulnerability we feel in each other's presence," Spock said.

Jim could not help from emitting a burst of laughter. "Look at you! When did you become a human psychologist?" Jim asked.

"It is not difficult to understand the behaviors and thought processes of such an emotional and simple species." Spock replied, with laughter dancing in his eyes. Jim started to relax as their normal banter returned. They just needed to be themselves, and they would be fine.

"Ah, but Mr. Spock, you said _we _were feeling nervous and vulnerable, did you not?" Jim grinned.

"I have observed that, even though I am Vulcan, I cannot help but be influenced emotionally by said species," Spock retorted.

Jim released Spock's hand and brought his arms around Spock's waist and kissed him. Spock responded with the same intensity and released a low moan. He brought his hands up to Jim's hair and stroked the soft, golden strands. Jim broke the kiss and stepped back to create some distance between their bodies. Spock leaned forward to recapture Jim's lips, but Jim put a hand on Spock's chest to stop him. Jim walked over to the couch and beckoned Spock to follow him. Spock and Jim sat side by side and turned to face each other.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this but I think we should talk about this," Jim said while motioning to the both of them.

"You are correct. We must discuss the details of our relationship before we progress," Spock answered. His face was once again blank, but Jim noticed a sincere openness in his warm, brown eyes.

Jim reached out a hand and placed it on Spock's knee and stroked it with his thumb. It seemed like no matter the situation, Jim needed to be in contact with some area of Spock's body.

"I think we should take this slow. Start out with dating and move on from there. Sure, we could jump right into sex, but I want to do right by you. I want this to be a meaningful relationship because I can't see myself with anyone but you, Spock. I have wanted you for a long time and I'm not going to mess this up." Jim could feel the nervousness weigh heavily on his stomach again and he took a deep breath.

"I, too, wish for our relationship to move at a steady pace in order to build a solid foundation. This relationship means a great deal to me, Jim. _You _mean a great deal to me," Spock whispered and took Jim's hand in his own. Jim fought down a shiver as Spock pressed his fingertips against his own in a chaste Vulcan kiss. If only this much contact was enough to undo Jim, he was definitely screwed.

"If you keep this up we will be naked soon." Jim joked. At this Spock's eyes darkened slightly and pulled Jim towards him until the distance between their bodies vanished and wrapped his arms around the human. Spock didn't take it any further and for that Jim was relieved. Jim felt his body become heavy with drowsiness as the warmth from Spock's body seeped into his bones.

All of a sudden, Jim heard and felt a deep rumbling coming from Spock. Jim pulled away from Spock with wide eyes.

"What the hell is that?" Jim asked loudly. Spock's eyes were wide and his cheeks were flushed green.

"I was purring, Jim," Spock said, as if it was painfully obvious. Jim could see, however, that Spock was a bit embarrassed.

Jim just grinned and asked, "Could you be anymore adorable?"

"I must have you know that Vulcans are not in the least bit adorable," Spock scoffed with an eyebrow quirked up.

"Well, if Vulcans aren't adorable, half-Vulcans certainly are," Jim teased. He placed a small kiss to Spock's soft lips. Spock relaxed against Jim and gave him a brief, tender smile. Jim couldn't believe how lucky he was to see Spock with his guard down. Jim wanted to be the only one to ever witness this side of Spock. He promised himself to never let this wonderful man out of his grasp, and he would make sure he deserved him.

All the day's events caught up to Jim and caused him to release a great yawn. He smiled at Spock sheepishly. "I'm ready to hit the hay, Spock. How about you?" Jim asked.

"I see no logical reason to strike at a bundle of various grasses, Jim. However, if you provide me with one, I would most certainly imitate you," Spock replied with a tilt of the head.

Jim chuckled and shook his head. Spock continued, "I hope you have a most restive sleep cycle, Jim." With that, Spock made his way toward the door.

"Wait!" Jim exclaimed. He hurriedly walked up to Spock to prevent him from leaving. "You are more than welcome to sleep here. In fact, I insist," Jim said. He smiled warmly at Spock, hoping to persuade him.

Spock focused his intense gaze on Jim and hesitated. "Are you certain? I do not wish to overstep the boundaries," Spock said with some doubt in his voice. Jim didn't answer him. He just took Spock's hand and led him to the bed. Jim removed his uniform tunic and his slacks and hopped onto his bed with a sigh of contentment. Spock stood at the side of the bed and seemed to weigh the consequences of his actions. Jim stayed quiet. He didn't want to pressure Spock into something he didn't want to do. It was Spock's move now. After a few minutes of deep thought, Spock followed Jim's example and climbed into bed next to him. Jim turned onto his side to face

Spock and wrapped an arm around him and moved closer. Spock brought a hand up to Jim's face and stroked his cheek. Jim's eyes fluttered closed and surrendered his body to the sensations he was feeling. He could feel Spock's rapid heartbeat at his side, Spock's happiness through the union of their skin, and Spock's alien warmth that was bringing him closer to sleep. He opened his eyes and saw Spock's warm eyes looking back at him. Spock moved his hand so that it cupped the back of Jim's head and stroked his hair. Jim tucked his head underneath Spock's chin and muttered a quick "lights" to cover the room in darkness. The last thing he was aware of before he fell asleep was the deep rumbling of Spock's purr.

Every colonist and crewmember was now onboard the _Enterprise_ and it was now headed to the star base to unload the now-normal group.

It was well into Gamma shift and Spock could no longer sleep. He had tried to relax through meditation, but his mind could not seem to remain silent. He lay there for a while longer simply enjoying the feel of the other man's arms around him. Although they had not engaged in intercourse the earlier sexual activity was still setting his body on fire and he marveled again at how quickly they had come to this.

He quietly slipped out of bed so as not to wake Jim. Even though their romantic relationship was brand new, their feelings for each other were intense. Spock almost feared how deep his love was already. He had at first attributed this to his Vulcan heritage, but that hypothesis proved wrong when he learned Jim's love for him burned just as strongly. Spock could not remember ever feeling so at peace with himself.

Spock visited every department to ascertain efficiency and productivity, although he knew it was rather illogical to check up on the crew, as everyone was on task. Spock reached sickbay and decided to query Dr. McCoy about the status of the colonists. Dr. McCoy had informed Spock and Jim recently that the colonists were suffering withdrawal symptoms. It was obvious the spores had addictive qualities that prompted the colonists to seek out the plants on a regular basis. Perhaps this had also caused the colonists to be immune to the Berthold rays.

As Spock walked into sickbay, he immediately spotted Leila Kalomi, awake and alert, sitting on a cot. A fraction of the colonists had fainted after being exposed to the resonance signal and were transported to sickbay. Spock wished to speak with Leila, to apologize for breaking her heart once again.

Spock neared Leila and made his presence known. Leila looked up at him and the pair locked eyes. Leila's eyes were a light, sky blue that bared a strong resemblance to Jim's eyes. Spock had to push thoughts of Jim from his mind.

Spock sat on the nearest chair and prepared to speak. "I trust you are feeling better?"

Leila's face showed sadness when Spock spoke to her in such a neutral voice. "Yes, Spock, I'm fine."

Spock could not help but recall telling his mother that fine had multiple definitions, and therefore the word was annoyingly vague. In many ways, Leila reminded him of his mother. They were both very interested in botany and enjoyed the beauty of plants. Amanda had been able to grow a beautiful garden in Vulcan's unforgiving conditions. Spock was certain Leila would be able to accomplish the same feat given the opportunity.

The two women also seemed to love unconditionally. Amanda had wanted Spock to be happy in any path he chose to take, even if he denied ever feeling happiness. Leila also wished for his happiness and had led him to the plants so that he would be able to let his guard down and experience happiness without shame.

"I have come to apologize," Spock said, his tone placid, but he was aware that Leila could hear the emotion behind it.

"What are you apologizing for?" Leila asked.

"I apologize that because a relationship between us is not feasible I have once again hurt you. I am what I am, Leila and I could never give you what you want or need from me. I had no intention of hurting you but even as the spores showed me that perhaps I could have loved you, I could not ignore the love I have for my captain. Its call was too strong."

Leila smiled sadly at Spock. "I had hoped the spores would have allowed you to be mine at last. Instead, the spores guided you into the arms of another. I guess it was selfish of me to think you would return my feelings."

Spock shook his head. "No, Leila," he said softly. "It was not selfish. It is only human to wish to be with the one you love. Thanks to what you have shown me with the spores, I now know this to be true."

When she simply smiled and nodded, Spock was relieved to find that Leila bore him no ill will. Leila would make someone very happy. Perhaps, if he had been more open with his emotions in the past, they may have been able to form a relationship. "I wish you happiness," he said as he prepared to leave.

"That is all I ever wanted for you, Spock, even if it wasn't with me. I hope we run into each other again in the future."

Spock nodded and gave her a tiny smile. "I share the sentiment. Live long and prosper, Leila," Spock said, and left.

When he returned to the cabin, Jim was still asleep but he turned towards Spock as he lay down and pulled the other man into his embrace.

"Everything alright?" he asked sleepily, turning all the way around to wrap his arms around the warm body next to him.

Spock pulled him tightly against him relishing the cooler body and deeply inhaling the scent that was uniquely Jim's.

At the quiet "Spock?" he realized that he had not answered the other man.

"Everything is fine, Jim," he said softly. "Everyone is on board and we are now enroute to the starbase."

Jim frowned slightly. "Why were you up, anyway?" he asked. "We are both off duty til beta shift tomorrow."

"I had awakened and, when I could not return to sleep or a meditative state, I got out of bed intent on getting perhaps some light exercise to help me return to sleep as I still do not feel completely rested," he replied honestly.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Jim asked, yawning slightly. "I would have gone with you," he said before yawning again.

Spock could not help the softening of his eyes and expression as he kissed the sleep flushed cheek. "Because you were still sleeping soundly and I had no wish to disturb you," he said. "I am sorry that I woke you now as you are obviously still exhausted."

"But I would have gone with you anyway," was the quiet reply. After a moment and another yawn, Jim lifted his head from where it was resting on Spock's chest. "Did you go see Leila?" he asked softly.

Spock nodded. "She seems to be recovering well," he replied.

"That's good she's getting better," Jim said. "You should, you know, spend time with her while she's still on board since she's your old friend and all." Even beneath the careful nonchalance, Spock could hear the uncertainty in Jim's voice.

"She and I are not exactly old friends," he said, carefully. "While it is true that I did know her before it was not what you think. We worked together six years ago on a research project. She developed a romantic interest in me and although I rebuffed her advances she continued. I am afraid I was rather harsh with her and she left the program immediately after its completion and I had not seen her until we came to Omicron Ceti III."

Jim nuzzled his face into Spock's neck and when he spoke his voice was muffled although Spock heard him clearly.

"I guess after I saw you laughing and kissing with her today, I was jealous because I wanted it, wanted you, for myself," he said softly. "Part of me is still afraid this is just a dream and I'll wake up."

Spock ran his hand through the soft blond waves, loving the way it felt against his sensitive fingers, and feeling the calming effect it had on Jim.

"I will not lie and say that I did not find kissing and touching her pleasant," he began "but, Jim, all along I knew that something was wrong. I wanted only to be with you but I did not feel you would be amenable to that. Now that I know that you are, I am content to remain with you. No, not merely content. I desire to remain with you and take our relationship as far as we can take it. Back on the planet, I had thought that that was the first time I have ever felt happiness."

He saw Jim swallow. "Was it?" he asked.

Spock shook his head slowly. "That was not real happiness," he said. "What I feel with you, after the spores, this Jim, is the first time I have ever felt real true happiness and contentment."

Spock saw that Jim's eyes were shining when the bright blue met the chocolate brown. "Does it still make you feel ashamed?" he asked gently.

Spock shook his head again, even slower this time. "I will never again allow myself to feel shame in loving you or in the happiness I feel with you," he said. "While it may take me some time to learn to express myself to you, and when we are on duty I will be as I always am, but when we are alone, I wish for nothing more than to be who I am when I am with you." Leaning forward he kissed the other man gently, before pulling back and tightening his arms around him once more.

Jim pulled back to look at him again. "This really is the first time you've ever felt happiness?" he asked. At Spock's nod, he leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss across the warm lips. "Then I will do everything in my power to make sure its not the last time," he promised.

For the first time he could remember, Spock felt himself smiling.


End file.
